Dating Don’t: Excuses, Excuses

Love, or infatuation, or romantic feelings can really cloud one’s judgment. I have been reading many posts lately here on Advice, the latest being from a lovely lady who has gotten to know a man she met online fairly well – at least as well as possible via the phone and email.

The problem? They live 2 hours away from each other, and he apparently is so busy with work he doesn’t have time to actually meet her.

The other problem? That she makes excuses for this behavior, describing how his business is slow, so slow, in fact, that he had to take a second job working many extra hours a week.

Here is the deal: If a man (or woman) is really into you and really wants to see you, it will happen. They will make it happen. Period. Whenever someone makes excuses, it is usually because they aren’t that interested, or they have something else going on (like another relationship) behind the scenes. The bottom line: They are not available for a relationship.

So should she invest any more time talking on the phone with him, or mulling over the situation? I would say no. How about meeting someone who actually has time and wants to be with you? We are all certainly worthy of that.

The next time you start to make an excuse for your boyfriend, or girlfriend, or whomever, take a step back and remember that this person is choosing to behave in a certain way – and they are responsible for their actions – and excuses.

What do you think? If someone doesn’t make a real effort to see you and always has excuses, do you confront them? Ditch them?


If this article gave you the confidence to find your match, try eharmony today!

Join Now