“She needed a hero so she decided to become one.”
The importance of our Independence Day is that it marks the birth of the United States of America. Remember your US history? The people living in the colonies were tired of living under British domination. They didn’t want to follow the orders from the King anymore. To go against the King was a very dangerous proposition. They were risking their livelihoods and their lives, but they decided it was worth the risk to win the freedom to govern themselves. They wanted to be free; they wanted to make their own decisions; and they asserted their independence. No sacrifice; no victory.
As we prepare to celebrate our nation’s Independence Day, I am struck by the fact that I have several friends who are in the process of asserting their own independence as well.
I have four girlfriends right now who are each going through a divorce. In each instance, these friends have tried for years to make their marriages successful, but ultimately, and for a variety of reasons, they are unable to do so. It’s been a series of failures and fiascos. There have been trials and tribulations. It’s no longer red, white and blue, but rather red, white and boo-hoo! The sparklers are no longer sparking!
The fireworks are gone!
Their stories needed a hero.
And each of these friends decided to become her own hero.
Each of these women has taken her destiny into her own hands, and I applaud her for that. I am not one to support divorce willy-nilly. I believe in the covenant of marriage. I also believe that there comes a point when you have tried and tried to make a marriage work, unsuccessfully, and it becomes in the best interest of all involved (the husband, the wife, and the children) to declare your independence and move on. It’s tough. My friends are sad at the prospect of ending their marriages which started with so much hope. They are fearful for what impact this will have on their children. They are scared at the idea of having to start over financially.
But, beyond those emotions, my friends are also hopeful. They are brave and strong and independent enough to know that this is something that they need to do. Just like the colonists back in 1776, they realize that the upside outweighs the downside. They know their future is as bright as a July sky during the grand finale of the fireworks display!
On this Fourth of July, I celebrate these 4 friends, and all of the other people who chose to become the heroes in their own stories. Like the colonists, you are choosing to assert your independence. You are indeed a hero. Happy Independence Day!
About the Author:
Author Monique A. Honaman wrote “The High Road Has Less Traffic: honest advice on the path through love and divorce” (2010) in response to a need for a book that provided honest, real, and raw advice about how to survive and thrive through one of life’s toughest journeys, and “The High Road Has Less Traffic … and a better view” (2013) to provide perspectives on love, marriage, divorce and everything in between. The books are available on Amazon.com. Learn more at www.HighRoadLessTraffic.com.