Dating Dos and Don’ts

The dating arena can be scary. Here’s a little direction to get you through those “Should I” or “Shouldn’t I” moments.

dating tips
August 24, 2016

3 Ways People Overshare Early in Dating: Beware!

There is nothing quite like someone saying too much, too soon. At root, it is a total turn-off. What are the ways that people overshare? All of them have to do with emotional needs, and you’ll see what I mean in a moment. Do people know they’re oversharing when they’re doing it? Do they realize […]

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speed dating tips
August 18, 2016

My Date Said ‘I Don’t Want To Be Here.’ Neither Did I.

Many years ago, I participated in a speed dating event in New York City—one of sixty people meeting in the basement of a Mexican restaurant for a lightening round of 30 three minute dates. It didn’t go well. Though the event was marketed to people aged 30 to 44, many of the men I met […]

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asking questions
August 10, 2016

The Art of Being Curious and Asking Questions

  “You don’t have to know everything in the world. We aren’t supposed to. It makes you boring in mixed company if you can’t be interested and ask questions of other people.” ~ Angela Johnson I know enough about myself to know that I get really frustrated by people who don’t ask any questions of […]

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burnt out on online dating
August 10, 2016

Are You a Lazy Dater?

Recently I was chatting with a circle of women I met at a charity event when the conversation inevitably turned to relationships and dating. When the topic of online dating came up, a contest broke out among several women about who could be the most apathetic dater. “I don’t really feel like dealing with it […]

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unattractive traits
August 2, 2016

The 5 Most Unattractive Traits in Men and Women

At first, you may think that the list of traits that make a man or woman unattractive is endless, like a scroll that goes on forever. The truth, though, is that many unattractive traits can be boiled down to more fundamental traits. Take a look at the ones identified below and you will quickly see how […]

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ready for relationship
August 1, 2016

‘I Love My Freedom, But I Also Want a Relationship’

Dear Sara: I’m a 34-old-girl who never had a proper relationship. l started to feel so lonely, and seeing [people] all around me having someone makes me feel bad about myself. On the other hand, I do like my independent and free life but still want someone next to me. I wonder: Do I ask […]

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shame and dating
July 29, 2016

3 Types of Shame That Hurt Your Dating Life

Shame is one of those issues that’s often discussed without ever really operationalizing what it is. So, what is shame? Shame, boiled down to its root, is the feeling you have that something about you is wrong or bad. Where do we get our shame from? You guessed it: other people! It’s typically parents, other family […]

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how to spot a misogynist
July 21, 2016

How to Tell If a Man is a Misogynist: 3 Signs

Over the course of my career, I have written a lot about misogyny, and I am always sensitive to it when I hear about it from clients or see it in my personal life. There’s no question that there are some men who hate women, and I’ve found that misogyny is taught and sustained by […]

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Couple Holding Hands
July 20, 2016

DATE: What I Learned from an Adorable Couple Who Met Online

I was traveling recently, and met a couple who were clearly dating and seemed very much “in like” and heading towards “in love.” As I so often do, I started asking them all sorts of questions about how they met, and because of what I do, my interest was immediately piqued when they said they […]

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self doubt and dating
July 14, 2016

‘Is Self-Doubt Harming My Chance of Finding Love?’

Dear Sara: A while back, I had a “come to Jesus” moment with a [single] friend/mentor when she was implying, yet again, that marriage is a sign of spiritual maturity. I argued it was luck. I said, “Tell me one thing a happily married woman (I decided to make it easy for her by excluding […]

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