Are you a sleeper or a cuddler?

Imagine the following scenario: You just had the most romantic evening with your partner. After dinner, one thing leads to another and you take that romance into the bedroom, yada yada yada, you then find yourself ready for bed. Do you go right to sleep, or do you want to cuddle? Your preference has more meaning than you think.

New research by evolutionary psychologists suggests that tending to fall asleep first after sex is associated with higher desire for bonding and affection from a partner. Participants of this study were asked to answer questions about behaviors between partners after sex. They were asked to indicate “who falls asleep after sex?”, and “who falls asleep first when going to bed but not after sex?”

Participants who had partners that fell asleep first after sex were more likely to have stronger desires for cuddling and chatting. The researchers believe that perhaps falling asleep right away may be a non-conscious way of avoiding any conversation about commitment. Interestingly, there weren’t differences between men and women in who fell asleep first after sex (so we can forget about the stereotype that it’s always women who want to snuggle after coitus).

However, if sex did not take place, women were more likely to fall asleep first. Perhaps men feel that the longer they are awake, the more likely it is they will be able to entice their partner into having sex.

So which are you: A cuddler, or a sleeper? Though the researchers don’t suggest that one is better than another, they do seem to suggest that if you find your partner going to sleep before you have that commitment talk, try bringing it up before getting to the bedroom.


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