Some people say that New Year’s resolutions are silly or even meaningless, but those naysayers are probably people who have made them in the past and then broken them. If you are an organized list maker or goal setter, you are probably someone who gets things done timely and effectively. For you, setting resolutions is a smart way to keep focused on the future and to make sure you are moving forward in the various areas of your life.
If you’re single, it is extremely important that you set dating goals, and the start of a new year is the perfect time to get to work on your love life. Give one or all of the resolutions below a try, but the point is to take action and go out and get what you need because no one will deliver fulfillment to your door. If only there were drones that could do that, right?!
1. Date one new person per month for this first three months of the year. I tell the clients I work with to set this goal for the entire year, so they should be meeting at least 12 new people per year until they find one who is a good fit. But with resolutions or any goals, for that matter, you should only set a goal that you know can and will realistically keep. (If you can’t stay true to your word, what else do you really have?) Set a goal to go out on a date with at least one new person per month for the first three months of the year. This practice is important because it keeps you in the mindset of dating and getting to know new people. Remember, the worst thing you can do when you are single is to get complacent and to surrender by saying, “I hate dating” or “Dating is awful.”
2. Go out on one date in the calendar year with someone outside of your usual type. Okay, maybe you’re the type who likes blonde women or, say, tall men. Most people have a general type to whom they’re attracted, but it is important to have at least a few “types.” Sticking to one rigid type will significantly reduce your options. I talk to long-term couples all the time and they often share stories of how they were surprised to end up together because they weren’t each other’s original type. This finding is more common than you may think. When you’re single, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to expand your options and to give someone a try who you normally wouldn’t consider dating.
3. Begin incorporating one new activity into your usual dating routine. Sure, meeting for coffee or dinner is a fine idea, but why not spice things up and try something different this year? Self-disclosure alert: I am a high-energy, active person, so I would rather do something active than sit still at dinner with someone I don’t know. I get feedback from clients every week who are dating and they often share that (light) exercise dates are successful and more fun. Plus, if you don’t end up liking the person, at least you can say you got a day’s worth of exercise. If you haven’t done exercising dates before, try that. You could go for a walk somewhere relaxing or stimulating; try a bike ride; or go cross-country skiing if the weather permits. If you have already tried exercise dates, start incorporating another activity. For example, try cooking or baking together, or check out a museum. The beginning of a new year can be a really exciting time because the slate is blank. It’s yours to fill in. Take risks, try new things, and be nice to yourself. Above all, flirt. Put yourself out there and you will soon be rewarded!
About the Author:
Dr. Seth is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, Psychology Today blogger, and TV guest expert. He practices in Los Angeles and treats a wide range of issues and disorders and specializes in relationships, parenting, and addiction. He has had extensive training in conducting couples therapy and is the author of Dr. Seth’s Love Prescription: Overcome Relationship Repetition Syndrome and Find the Love You Deserve