Ladies: Can You Be Feminine Without Being Submissive?

April 22, 2013

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Today’s guest blog is from one of our favorite relationship experts, Marni Battista, who takes on a current topic of debate – traditional gender roles in romantic relationships.

Many men and women currently dating online are having their version of a “do-over.” Whether it’s a do-over of a marriage or a similarly long-term relationship, it can be interesting to see how their next relationship plays out. Are you reacting to what you worked on in your marriage (i.e., acting out what you DON’T want), or are you moving into who you are and what you DO want?

gabby reece book 195x300 Ladies: Can You Be Feminine Without Being Submissive?Gabrielle Reece has recently come under fire for a comment she made while promoting her book My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper. She says, “To truly be feminine means being soft, receptive, and – look out, here it comes – submissive.”

This hit a nerve with many news outlets, as well as feminists. When asked to explain her statement, Reece said, “What I said…was that I was choosing to take on this service or submissive role.”  She also clarified, “I’m just saying I think that it’s nice if one person takes on the female [role] and one person takes on the male [role].”

Reece, who has been married for 16 years to pro surfer Laird Hamilton, says that by taking on more clear-cut gender roles they began to complement each other. The couple married in 1997, and four years into their marriage went through a tough time and almost divorced.

A few months after the former volleyball player filed for divorce, the two reconciled; it was then she decided to get more in touch with her “feminine, or submissive side.” So did she do that because she felt that was the only way to get her marriage back on track? Or was it the natural progression that led her to embrace that side of herself? Unless her subconscious starts talking, we’ll probably never know.

If the message Reece is truly trying to convey is one that says embrace your femininity because it’s powerful, then she’s on the right track.

Often the things women are taught to make them successful in the professional world are exactly the same things that will make them powerless (and ultimately fail) in the love department.

Embracing one’s femininity is important in the art of love and relationships…it just has to come from a place of a natural evolution of one’s energy. It’s extremely powerful; Reece herself says of femininity being ‘soft,’ “I don’t think it’s a sign of weakness. I think it’s a sign of strength.”

What do you think? Do you agree with Gabrielle Reece…or not?

Learn more about relationship coach Marni Battista and Dating with Dignity.

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