A Case for Detached Dating

May 13, 2011

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detached dating 200x300 A Case for Detached DatingA friend of mine went on a date, had a really good time with this guy and they truly seemed to connect on many levels. Suddenly, he said he had to go, and wished her “good luck in the future.” She was left sitting there, wondering where and when the heck things went awry. On the flip side, another friend went on a date with a guy and was literally counting the minutes until the evening was over, but she smiled and tried to act interested anyways. She knew almost immediately that he was just not right for her, but he, on the other hand, thought the date was a smashing success.

What’s in common with these two stories? I think you know. The point here is you never do know what the other person is really thinking. The biggest clue about the success of the date is in THEIR ACTIONS. If a guy calls you the next day and wants to go out again – you know it was successful. If a girl is interested in you, she will definitely let you know.

There are literally hundreds of reasons why a date doesn’t go well, from someone not over their ex to fear, shyness, anxiety … I could go on and on. When I was single and going out a lot, I got to the point which I like to call “detached dating.” If I went out with someone and he didn’t call again, I didn’t give it a second thought. I just kept moving forward. Let me tell you, it took so much pressure off! It was all about an adventure and meeting different people for me. I realized that more often than not the timing just wasn’t right, and I never second-guessed myself.

The moral of this story is — detach yourself from so much expectation, and don’t take these dating encounters too personally. Invest that energy into looking forward!

I would love to hear about how you have worked through dates gone wrong – and moved on!

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