Maya and Howard
Unbeknownst to each other, Howard and I were living parallel lives. Both of us had been married unsuccessfully for 20 years, both of us having tried for long years to make our marriages work but never finding true peace and harmony with our spouses. Both of us finally divorced and vowed to find a partner with whom it would not take hard work; a partner with whom we could be loved and accepted just as we were. Both of us began to date and both of us began to feel disillusioned. A few first dates turned into many first dates---disastrous evenings spent looking at our watches or trying desperately to make conversation. I joined several singles clubs and after a while found myself leaving early, an ice queen lured by the promise of a good book over that evening’s event. Howard joined an internet singles club and found early on that it was just another version of the bar scene: a photo on a web site was no guarantee for success or compatibility.
Finally, we both tried eHarmony as a last hope. We filled out our questionnaires and started waiting...a few hits later we both felt like our last hope was gone. We both called and said we wanted to take advantage of the 7-day grace period and leave eHarmony. They talked to each of us, coaxing us to be patient, and to give it a little more time. We both said okay. The next day we got each other’s picture. I had never wanted a long distance relationship, but there was something about his eyes I immediately loved. We answered questions about each other and discovered that our responses were incredibly similar. The first time he wrote me, I was amazed!! From one question, he wrote me a three page answer---I love talking about everything! We began to write back and forth. I loved his humor and honesty, he liked my sincerity and chattiness. When we talked on the phone, it was as if we’d known each other before. Conversation flowed, and one thing led to another.
Finally, came the BIG TEST-our first date. When the doorbell rang that evening, and I opened the door to look at Howard for the first time, I was so scared that the physical chemistry would not be there. I loved the way he talked and his sincerity and his ideas, but would I love the way he looked? Well, the ice queen melted as I threw my rule book out the window when I saw him. I gave him a hug and off we went. We laughed, we talked, we danced, imagine my surprise when he told me that the bar was closing since it was 2 a.m.!
The rest is history. We’ve been talking, laughing, and dancing for 11months now. We got married on July 22 and everyday is wonderful. We’ve weathered children’s visits, long road trips, and my mother’s death, and yet never had an argument. We truly believe that we were meant to be together. It’s as if we were moving along parallel to each other, just waiting. We love each other just the way we’d always longed for: just the way we are, no buts, no fixing.