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So Close Yet So Far



Jennifer and Jeff

Location: Rockford, MI
Married: January 19th, 2008

I have meant for some time to write and thank-you from the bottom of my heart, but this weekend- the weekend of our first wedding anniversary seems most compelling to actually sit down and do it.

What made me sign up for eHarmony was a particular moment in time that had been preceded by ten years of no dates, bad blind dates, just to sum it up: no success at all in matching my heart with another’s. I was searching for someone in particular it seemed, or actually not even searching at all, just sitting waiting for him to show up. 

One day in January of 2006 (I had just turned 30) I was on a plane ride home from somewhere, when they happened to show the movie “Just like Heaven.” I had not seen it before, and something about it just gripped my heart and snapped something inside, and I found myself sitting there next to an old married couple I did not know, crying my eyes out and probably confusing them greatly since it was a movie with a happy ending. What it was that had affected me so, was watching this movie built around the premise that these two individuals were meant by fate to be together, and fate would not let them miss out on each other. And what broke my heart in that moment was that I realized I did not believe that. I did not believe Fate had one particular man intended for me that I could not possibly miss out on. And it occurred to me that the worst thing ever would be for me to wake up at 40 still alone and unloved and wonder to myself  What COULD have happened if I had actually put some effort forth to find myself a man at 30?  And right there and then I determined that I would sign up for eHarmony the moment I got home, and that I would do it with a 10 year plan in mind. I would do eHarmony for 10 years, and if at the end of 10 years no man who I wanted to marry had appeared for me- well at least then I would have tried, and I would not have to wonder about “What if?”

So that is what I did. I came home. I signed up for a trial week of eHarmony. I met a man, dated him for 3 months, we were not quite right for each other, so then after we called it quits around May I resolved to get back up on that horse and  I would sign up for 6 months of eHarmony and get started on my 10 year plan. I didn’t believe in “one soul mate for one person”- I believed more in “one category of person”  so it seemed to me the more men I went out with that eHarmony matched me up with, the more likely it would be that I would find a man who would grow to be my soul mate.

I did not have to wait long. One month or so in to my eHarmony subscription (I believe I signed up officially in June of 2006) - Jeff came in as a match mid July. He contacted me almost immediately. He looked far too attractive to me to be a good match (I don’t like players,) but I decided I would give him a chance the same as all the others (at this point I had 9 matches I was communicating with) In our first essay questions to each other Jeff and I discovered that we attended the same church, and had attended the same church for about 2 years and had never met! We went out that next weekend for the first time, to a restaurant called “Bistro Bella Vita” – “the beautiful life” and little did we know that was the beginning of a beautiful life together.

For Jeff, what preceded him signing up for eHarmony was that in the past he had tried Match.com for about a year with no luck. He was 32 and ready to settle down.  His hair stylist suggested he try eHarmony. He signed up in mid July 2006. I came in as one of his matches almost immediately. I was the first match he contacted; our first date was August 4, 2006. So it took Jeff only 2 weeks on eHarmony to meet me, his future wife. It took me only one month of eHarmony to meet Jeff when I was prepared for 10 years of searching. It really was quite amazing how it worked out.

Dating Jeff seemed effortless, our personalities melded together so well. About four months into the relationship I knew that for the first time in my life I had met a man I could marry, and Jeff knew as well, we started to talk of getting married soon after. On our one year of dating anniversary he asked me to marry him in a helicopter he had chartered, over the city of Chicago. I said “yes” of course. We were married five months later on a beautiful snowy day, January 19, 2008.

And so here I am, one year later, married to the man of my dreams, who I never would have met without your site. Well, actually I might have met him or seen him in church from time to time, but I never would have suspected that this man should be my husband. Even if we had met in other circumstances Jeff says he probably would not have asked me out because I am so quiet in groups of people. So thank-you eHarmony, for introducing us to each other, for informing us that we would be good for each other, and for making this all possible. I cannot thank-you enough. I tell everyone I know that signing up for eHarmony was the best decision I ever made and I know that Jeff feels the same. We are truly living “The Beautiful Life.”




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