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eHarmony Success Story - Missed by a Mile Pam Flowers and Brian Thompson were engaged to be married on May 25, 2004. Prior to joining eHarmony, they had never met, which isn't so unusual for couples who are matched on the service. Only, Pam and Brian had spent years living one mile apart in Norman, Oklahoma. Pam explains, "About a year and a half ago my friends started suggesting that I use the Internet to look for a relationship. But, truthfully, I dreamed of seeing a man, locking eyes, and having him rush over to meet me. I didn't want the Internet to be my story." She continued to use the normal routes in her search - church, friends; and in a moment of weakness when she was considering taking her friend's advice, she turned to her father. "I'm very close with my dad. I knew if I asked him about online dating, he would say, 'No,' and that would be the end of the issue for me. But when I asked, he said, 'Try it.'" Pam went straight to eHarmony. Initially, the Relationship Questionnaire intimidated her, but she made a promise to answer honestly and from the heart. In the first few weeks of service her promise would be tested greatly. "I was frustrated with eHarmony. I wasn't getting the reaction I wanted, and my friends suggested that I change some of my answers to help me get more attention. But that's not why I came to eHarmony. I wanted to be chosen for who I really was on the inside." After using eHarmony for six weeks, Pam was matched with Brian. At this point, fate became a player in the drama. As Brian was initiating communication with Pam, she started a 10-day absence from her work computer. Following eHarmony's guideline, Brian was ready to close her at the end of the 10th day, which happened to be the day before she returned to work. He got busy and was unable to complete his eHarmony housekeeping. "All the men I was matched with had great ABOUT ME pages, but the one thing about Brian's that caught my eye was his reference to a Hot Wheels collection. It sounds silly, but it showed me something unique about him, and I responded to his message." For six weeks they communicated by e-mail, getting to know each other in great detail. What they learned was astounding. In the past, they had attended the same small 1,200-student college and never met. They were attending the same church and never met. They even had the same doctor and never met. Their lives were literally intertwined yet completely separate. For their first date, Pam drove the 5,280 feet to his driveway and they spent the evening bowling and talking. "We shake our heads when we think about how close we've been all these years-never meeting. But the truth is, we weren't ready. It took eHarmony to help us bridge the one mile between us." We love to hear from couples who have met on eHarmony. If you've just gotten engaged or married to your eHarmony soul mate, we'd love to hear from you. We're always interested in couples to appear in commercials and media events. Write to us at editor@eharmony.com. eHarmony News - The NEW 12 CD Coaching Series, Finding the Love of Your Life
We have exciting news for you. In a matter of days eHarmony will release a new 12 CD Coaching Series called Finding the Love of Your Life. Each CD contains approximately 60 minutes of guidance and insight from Dr. Warren on the major areas of mate selection. Each CD also contains an online self-assessment. By spending 20 minutes taking each online questionnaire you'll get a deeper understanding of your own personality and relationship needs. But this is not a boring study on the details of compatibility. Finding the Love of Your Life allows Dr. Warren to address the questions that matter most to eHarmony users.
In a series of frank and fun conversations with psychologist Les Parrott, Dr. Warren takes your emotional IQ to new heights. Listen to a sample of Finding the Love of Your Life.
Issue 1 One Special Person - Finding the Love of Your Life
You can get started with the Finding the Love of Your Life CD Coaching Series for as low as $14.95 a month. You can get the entire 12 CD collection FREE with a 6 or 12 month membership purchase or upgrade. If you'd like to learn more about this series and discover how you can be one of the first to get behind the scenes and dig deep into the mind that launched eHarmony, CLICK HERE It's Time for the 2004 Dream Date Contest Have you met the love of your life on eHarmony? Have you found someone to share your hopes and dreams forever? It's time to send us the story of your romance and get ready for our Dream Date 2004 contest. This year's couple will spend a weekend in sunny Southern California soaking up Hollywood and enjoying what promises to be a remarkable weekend! How do you win? It's easy. Take a moment and send us the story of your eHarmony romance. Tell us about why you chose this person from the My Matches page. Describe your communication and how you got to know each other. Tell us in painstaking detail about the moment when you first met face-to-face and how you knew it was true love. We're looking for a story so romantic, a connection so moving, that millions around the globe will feel the power of your relationship. So, give us your best. We will take all the entries and announce a winner on August 22, 2004, our fourth anniversary. Please be sure to include both your and your partner's usernames, along with your phone numbers and addresses (city and state). Please send your entries before July 23, 2004, to editor@eHarmony.com. eHarmony Press This month the two largest press outlets in the world feature eHarmony. Reuters - June 1, 2004 The British worldwide news service, Reuters, issued a fascinating eHarmony item that was run by over 100 media outlets around the world. In Lisa Baertlein's comprehensive piece, entitled "Dating Site EHarmony Has 436 Questions for You," the site is examined from several important angles. First is a look at eHarmony's advertising success. While most of the important industry players have made some effort using radio and television, only eHarmony was able to make their campaign truly effective. Then she examines how eHarmony made its own way by choosing to focus on serious relationships and "matching" as opposed to the industry standards of photo browsing and simple introductions. The screening process gets its usual attention with an eye toward the 436-item Relationship Questionnaire. "We don't make it easy. You have to go through a 436-item questionnaire just to get a chance to pay," eHarmony Chief Executive Greg Forgatch said. The piece continues with a detailed looked at eHarmony's recent membership surge and place in the online dating industry. You can read the entire article on eHarmony.com by clicking here. Associated Press - May 28, 2004 The American worldwide news service, Associated Press, released a compelling eHarmony article that was picked up by over 300 media outlets around the world-including New York Post, Washington Post, MSNBC, CNN.com, USA Today.com, Houston Chronicle, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Salt Lake City Tribune, NBC 4 News Los Angeles, and Chicago Sun Times (just to name a few). The piece by Rachel Konrad, entitled "True love? Let a computer matchmaker decide-Online service receives 'compatibility' patent," focuses on eHarmony's Compatibility Matching System ® and its new U.S. patent. By discussing the "marital satisfaction score" and the science behind eHarmony's research, the article gives readers a clear idea of the reasons for the company's success. And while competitors and critics question the validity of using science to match singles, Melinda Miller is a believer. The 32-year-old teacher from Celebration, Florida, met her husband Jack by using eHarmony. "The chemistry between us was amazing right from the start-and I know that sounds funny because how can you have chemistry over the Internet?" Miller said. "But we had complete compatibility between our personalities.... Jack's a very attractive guy, but by the time we met, it almost didn't matter." You can read the entire article on eHarmony.com by clicking here. eHarmony Feature - The Importance of Chemistry by Dr. Neil Clark Warren In the PRESS section of this month's newsletter, we refer to a recent and tremendously popular Associated Press article. You can click on the link above and read it. In fact, I wholeheartedly suggest that you do. For despite its fun and informative look at eHarmony, it has a fundamental fact absolutely wrong. In the next few paragraphs, I'd like to set the record perfectly straight. I believe that chemistry is VITAL if a long-term relationship is to be successful. Because eHarmony uses broad-based compatibility to match our users, many people get the impression that we don't value chemistry. In fact, the article I'm referring to begins with this line: "Chemistry? Forget it. Psychology and statistics best determine whether two people will have a happy marriage." While no one appreciates a juicy introductory sentence more than I do, it's important that you understand why it is not true. First of all, I believe that, in any relationship that is going to last for a long time, chemistry is absolutely crucial. As a matter of fact, I say that if you don't have chemistry in the relationship-that is, if you aren't really attracted to the other person or you sense that the other person isn't really attracted to you-you just don't want to go ahead with the relationship. Let it be a friendship, but not a long-term romantic relationship. Chemistry is definitely physical. It is sexual. It is the desire you have to be around the other person, to hold that person's hand, to have your arm around him or her, or to hold that person close to you. That attraction you have on a totally physical basis is what we're referring to as chemistry, as passion. So, if you have a relationship that you think has a chance for a long-term run, as it were, and you don't have that kind of passion, I say take it slow. Go easy. Wait and see what develops. In all my seminars, I can always know that someone will ask, "Well, how long should we wait?" And I always say to them, without trying to be facetious, "You ought to wait as long as you can afford to wait." Some women know exactly what I'm talking about, because if you have a biological clock that is running, and you don't have chemistry toward a person, then you don't want to waste a lot of time waiting on that relationship to develop chemistry. If you have all kinds of time and you don't have anyone else that you're interested in dating, then you might want to wait for a while to see if the chemistry develops. The importance of chemistry cannot be overestimated. One of my long-term colleagues, Dr. Paul Roberts, has often said that when a couple comes to him for marriage counseling, he knows pretty early in the game whether they have any chemistry on the basis of where they sit in relation to each other in his office. If they sit close together and the man has his arm around her, and she has her arm around him or has her hand on top of his hand, then Dr. Roberts says that he knows that there's probably a pretty good chance of working things through in that relationship. You see they have energy, kind of an automatic physical energy, to attend to one another such that they will want to work out the problem. But he says that when a couple comes in and they don't seem to have any chemistry in relation to one another, he worries; without that chemistry, there's a fear that maybe those problems that need so much attention, so much effort maybe they just won't be able to receive that kind of effort because the chemistry isn't there to kind of propel it. So, you may ask, if chemistry is so important, why doesn't eHarmony match on it. We believe that chemistry is so complex and individualized that it is practically impossible to quantify and match on in a meaningful way. We believe the best approach is to take two people who are very similar in all the ways that are important for a successful relationship and let them spend time together- staring at each other, walking together, perhaps holding hands, kissing good night. Those two people after a date or two are going to have a pretty good idea of whether they share chemistry. It's taking our science and applying it to the age-old way that a man and woman fall in love. It's romantic. It's timeless, and we believe it's the best way to assure two people a lifetime of love and happiness. |
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Have you ever wished you could sit with eHarmony founder, Dr. Neil Clark Warren and talk about your soul mate search? Have you wanted to hear him talk at length about the details of finding, dating, and choosing to marry your soul mate?