Friendship

What happens when you spill your guts and declare your love to a friend, only to find your advance is unrequited? Can the friendship be saved, or is it doomed? Read on to find out how to predict what will happen to your friendship.

With so many choices and too little time, how can women know the good guys from the bad guys with just one glance?

Are you as sick of celebrity infidelity news items as I am? Read on to learn how we can take a stand and celebrate the good people around us instead of concentrating on the duds.

Read on to discover how losing focus can help you to find what you’re looking for.

Recent studies show that older people have better relationships. What is the secret to their success?

New research contends that our social relationships- or lack thereof- should be considered just as dangerous to our health as smoking, obesity, and lack of exercise.

A number of studies have suggested that we perceive others level of distress quite differently based on how many social resources we feel we have at the moment. In other words when we feel supported by others we tend not to feel as overwhelmed by stressful situations.

Remembering birthdays close to your own birthday as an example of the egocentric bias in temporal memory.

Why friends may be less forgiving than we are for our partner’s transgressions.

As someone who loves great food, I thought this article in the New York Times was particularly interesting. It discussed how different food choices could be stressful on relationships. Discover what other studies say about why sharing food in your relationships may be important.

Forgiving someone can effect how good you feel about yourself. Find out how.

Recent research found that socializing could be just as important for the brain as completing more high-minded, intellectual tasks. Read why, then go out with your friends and discuss.

A research study shows that elderly women benefit more from social support than men. Read more and find out why it’s important to show support to the woman you love.

John Helliwell is quoted as saying: “People tend to overestimate the amount of satisfaction they will get from material things and underestimate the satisfaction they derive from human connections. That’s one reason so many people choose a work environment that ends up making them miserable.” Is this why I don’t need an iPhone?

Dr. Dacher Keltner, one of the worlds leading experts on teasing, proposes that teasing serves some very important social functions. Read more.

Ever wonder why your friends and family members go for the same partners you do? Are they just trying to sabotage you or is the pickin’ really that slim? Turns out your “visual diet” may be the same; your familiarity with each other means you find the same people attractive. Harvard researchers explain…

Relationship research tends to walk a meandering path between the obvious, the obscure and the ridiculous… with only rare visits to what might be considered brilliant. The extension of attachment theory to adult romantic relationships in 1987 by Hazan and Shaver comes to mind as one of the most recent examples that I would call brilliant. An article that I read today Less is More: The Lure of Ambiguity, or Why Familiarity Breeds Contempt falls much closer to the “ridiculous” end of the path.

Being thankful and feeling appreciation is more than just a positive emotion. It can help build and strengthen your relationships.

People you eat with not only influence why you eat but also how much…find out more.

While many women already know this answer because they lead a social lifestyle that includes going to parties, restaurants, bars, or any type of mixed-gender social gatherings, researchers at Wayne State University and University of Texas, San Antonio wanted it to be crystal clear: it’s because of their attitudes on sex, views of women, and consumption of alcohol.

Spending as little as ten minutes talking to others may help improve your memory and intellect. Sound like an infomercial created by teenagers? No, no- it’s real research! Turns out social interaction can provide the same mental-boosting benefits as reading or doing a daily crossword puzzle.

I’m reading about guilt and in-group behavior, and I can’t help but see parallels to my own life (occupational hazard, I know). I’m going to my best-friend’s wedding next weekend and a mutual friend of ours is walking her down the aisle. He forgot about the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner and his travel plans will miss them both. Our bride-to-be is hurt and disappointed, and I feel guilty that I didn’t do more to prevent it. Why? According to recent research, people often feels vicarious emotions such as guilt (or shame) when they are associated with those whose actions have caused offense, even though they are innocent.

Meeting strangers might actually make you happy. Find out more.

As part of a larger research project I’m working on here, I recently read a great review article in the Journal of Divorce and Remarriage concerning how individuals use social relationships to adjust to life with divorce. The researchers had completed a meta-analysis (a giant research mash up to get a birds-eye-view of all the results on the topic) and found that a higher degree of social relationships was associated with a higher level of positive post-divorce adjustment, and lower levels of maladjustment.

Turns out not all adjustment is the same, and the different types serve important functions for those going through a divorce. Positive adjustment refers to functioning well in multiple areas of life (e.g., work, family, leisure), being free of mental and physical hang-ups, and basically operating with a new identity no longer tied to the former spouse. If you are going through a divorce, you want as much of positive adjustment as possible. Maladjustment, on the other hand, is defined as those things people usually want to avoid: depression, anxiety, stress, physical symptoms- you know, all the fun stuff for parties. Less is clearly better.

Common sense, right? Sure: having a support system around is supposed to get people through tough times. But the researchers dug deeper- shoveling with statistics- and found that the type of relationship relates to the type of adjustment.
Being involved in relationships that are defined as networks (e.g., support, church groups, clubs, groups of friends) relate to higher levels of positive adjustment. Networks help get you “out there” again, provide emotional support, and remind you that you aren’t alone. They are most helpful in promoting the positive changes necessary for adjustment.

Specific relationships (i.e., one-on-one relationships; best friends, counselors, family members) relate to lower levels of maladjustment. So these relationships work strongest as an outlet to share vulnerable feelings, fears, receive various types of support or alleviate stress. They buffer or prevent the negative consequences of divorce.

Combined these relationships create the overall adjustment that most people want after a divorce. Thinking about your own divorce or separation, do you find that you are shying away from groups and social outings, instead spending quiet times with one friend? Do you keep your innermost feelings away from your trusted friend or family member, preferring to spend most nights out on the town? Cutting yourself off from one type of relationship may also keep you from fully recovering. You need to talk out your feelings AND participate in new, fun activities in a group. Each play important roles in your adjustment process.

What makes a friendship last? A recent study looked at predictors of lasting friendship (Ledbetter, Griffin, & Sparks, 2007). Researchers investigated best friends in college to see what factors would predict friendship closeness between these same friends almost 20 years later.