In a recent article, Rena Repetti and her colleagues summarize current research on how stress influences family interactions. The authors explain that daily stress from work can be brought back to the family, an occurrence often called work-to-family spillover. Studies show that increased workplace stress – for example, having longer hours, unfriendly work environments, and hectic days – can lead to more conflict, fewer warm and engaging behaviors with children, and less sensitivity or responsiveness towards one’s partner.

To cope with workplace stress, some people choose to withdraw from their families and take a few moments for themselves. Often seen with fathers, withdrawal may be a way to isolate oneself from the more stimulating family interactions and therefore reduce stress levels. Others may choose to let go of pent-up stress by venting or vocalizing irritability.

However, work stress is not isolated to adults – children may experience stressful day at school too, which can create school-family spillover. On days they experience problems, children may show more conflict with their parents and siblings.

Stress experienced by one person impacts other family members as well. For example, a stressed husband may be able to de-stress by talking through his problems with his wife. Or, he may be unaware of how to solve a work problem at work, so he may unintentionally express his irritability toward his wife. One parent may be supportive of the other taking ten minutes to his or herself before interacting with the kids, or that parent may be coming home from his or her own stressful day and may not appreciate the other partner withdrawing. In turn, a child whose parent withdraws may choose to isolate themselves or may instead increase attempts to interact and be more involved with that withdrawn parent. In other words, stress affects other family members and is often even shared by them as well.

Daily stress is not just isolated to the office and can have an immediate impact on the family’s wellbeing. Accumulating stress can have even further implications for developing bonds between family members and may even be linked to longer term consequences like health. Given this research, it is important to understand where the stress in one’s life comes from. Do what you can to leave work place stress at work. Find ways for both partners and the entire family to relax when stress levels are high. And remember that a grumpy partner or child may be dealing with more stress than meets the eye, so ask them about their day before you react to their irritable attitude. It is important to take care of the stress in your life as it affects you and those you care about the most.

Further Reading:

Repetti, R., Wang, S., & Saxbe, D. (2009). Bringing It All Back Home: How Outside Stressors Shape Families’ Everyday Lives Current Directions in Psychological Science, 18 (2), 106-111 DOI: 10.1111/j.1467-8721.2009.01618.x