My friend Mike McCullough is a professor at the University of Miami and does some of the best research on forgiveness in psychology. In the latest work to come out of his lab he and his collaborators (Giacomom Bono and Lindsay Root) looked at how forgiving someone can effect how good you feel about yourself. In two different studies they followed participants across time and had them report if they had been victim of a transgression, if they had forgiven that person, how close they were to that person, if that person had apologized, and their own well being.

They found that the act of forgiving someone made you feel better about yourself the next day. If you were closer to that person, or they apologized, the effect was even stronger. Participants got a bigger boost in well being the next day after forgiving that person. The lesson, forgive people if they do something wrong, especially if they are someone close to you or they apologize. And if you transgressed against someone, apologize for it. Chances are you will feel better the next day and your relationship will be stronger.

Further Reading:

Bono, G., MoCullough, M. E., Root, L. M. (2008). Forgiveness, feeling connected to others, and well-being: Two longitudinal studies. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 34, 182-195.