Stress is something that everyone understands and has been linked to a number of poor health outcomes (cardiovascular disease, increased severity of autoimmune disorders). What most people also know is that stress also causes problems in relationships. In a recent survey of German, Swiss, and Italian couples, Guy Bondenmann and his collaborators found that stress was cited as the third most important reason for divorce behind lack of commitment and dyadic competency (such as being ineffective communicators).

What are really interesting are Bodenmann’s ideas for how stress affects relationships. He proposes that chronic everyday stress (the stuff you get at work or on the drive home) spills over into a relationship, causing couples to spend less time together, lowering the quality of marital communication, and magnifying people’s personal weaknesses. This creates a sense of alienation in the marriage, adds to dissatisfaction, and ultimately divorce. This model also gives hints for how people can minimize this process. Less stress is best (but often not possible). Realizing that stress can corrupt a relationship allows couples to figure out ways to quarantine their relationships from daily stress, making sure to keep the stress spillover as small as possible.

Further Reading:

Bodenmann, G., Charvoz, L., Bradbury, T. N., Iafrate, A B. R., Giuliani, C. Banse, R., & Behling, J. (2007). The role of stress in divorce: A three-nation retrospective study. Journal of Personal and Social Relationships, 24, 700-728.