What I learned from a Mexican-American
by Gian Gonzaga | October 11th, 2007Belinda was one of my best friends in graduate school. We helped each other through the hard times and celebrated as our careers have both blossomed (she now teaches and does research at a University).
She was born in the United States but her parents weren’t, they immigrated from Mexico. Over the years of graduate school I heard so many stories of her family that it was almost like I knew them before I had ever met them. I was always amazed by how close they were and how much they supported each other. We had both moved away from our families for graduate school and yet it often seemed like her family lived in the next town over.
Recent research reviewed in the most recent edition of Greater Good magazine (greatergoodmag.org) is studying how Latino cultural values affect health, relationships, and children. The emphasis that Latinos place on family (a concept known as familism) has great benefits. Familism emphasized the importance of family closeness, getting along with the family, and contributing to the family success. Work has shown that Mexican families tend to grow up with more relatives around (immediate and extended family) and in very tight knit communities. It also suggests that even though these families do economically worse than more financially successful, but also more isolated, Anglo families, they tend to be happier because of the support that they derive from their families. Mexican cultural also places a high value on respect for elders and on fathers being committed to their role in the family, these things also contribute to children showing more cooperation, responsibility, and being less depressed.
It isn’t that Latino families are prefect, traditional Latino culture also value hierarchy in the family (husbands rule while wives obey) and lots of research shows that romantic relationships that are equal tend to do better. But there are important lessons to be learned. Sometimes in our quest for success we can sacrifice the thing that is most important for our psychological health and long term success, our relationships. And that more time with the family would probably be worth a little less in the paycheck.
The west coast is great, but I do wish my family could have come along. The most difficult part of living in
California is having my family so far away. But my fiancee is from an Italian and Armenian family. Now my mother-in-law will call expecting me to know where my sister-in-law is and my sister in Philadelphia calls to ask about her new sisters in
California.
I love it.
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October 12th, 2007 at 8:31 am
Way to see with open eyes…..they are a great culture aren’t they? !!!
I’ve grown up in Arizona so some might think I’ve been recieving a lop-sided view. Yet I would say it’s a “constant contact” view.
And yes I love them. I love how it’s not just Mexico either that has such a strong value system put toward uniting a famiy. I see family strength in all Latin cultures. I also see latin’s possitive openness and friendlyness shine out from the Philipeans (also Latin influence).
And ya, like you, I’m seeing them addapt in wonderful ways to our American society.
So ya, I also think that even us Americans that have European norms (not so open to trust)…..well we Pridefull American’s can also humble ourselves and see true teachings from these humble people in our society. They love not only their family….but many relationships are freely and openly made because of their upbringing.
It is just that…..open to love and growth. They learn to seek for it, and don’t all humans need this anyway? No matter how prideful we are; sooner or later we will have to learn how important loving relationships are in a personal lifestyle.
Oh, and I can’t just leave without saying how greatful I am to have Mexico as a neighbor to the USA and not…..well there are many countries that fit the “not” discription. But here is a modern society and it’s adapting to our American ways.
Any human being is smart…..and of course Mexicans are no exception. So put aside any prideful view of them being less educated and all and see them for what they are…..smart. Only, they are not smart as in “cunning smart” (bad) but in “loving smart” (good).
So ya, some might not like their influence on America in food, language, culture….you name it. But again, they are not only a neighbor that will not go away……but I hope they never go away.
Can you think of what cultures might try filling Mexico’s void if Mexico just up and left…….ya I just can’t see many other countries being as open and loving and as family oriented as Mexico is.
(And yes, some might be family oriented just as much…..but they hand down to that generation a teaching of hate to America and not a teaching of love……big big big difference.)
So do I love what Mexico can teach us from their influence…..ya. It’s one of the best influences America can have IN THIS WORLD.
I think there is much to learn from Mexicans that love America just as much as me, an American citizen. (Maybe I can’t spell my own language—but I still love America