“Keira Knightly…”

“Um…Christan Bale…”

“Jessica Alba…”

At some time or another it seems like every couple, jokingly, plays the sex exception game. You know the one, where each of you gets a short list of people you can sleep with (if you get the chance) and your significant other would have to shrug his/her shoulders and say “Ok, that’s a freebie.”

At the top of my fiancee’s list is Hugh Jackman.

You are probably not surprised by this, and most women who hear this choice nod their heads and say “yeeeeah….” I think these lists are telling; not because of the type of person that makes the list (extremely attractive) but by the type of person that doesn’t make the list. You never hear anyone nominating people like Bill Gates, Rupert Murdoch, or Warren Buffet. In fact, when most women hear these names they cringe. And if you mention Carlos Slim Helu (the second richest man in the world) they will just look at you confused.

This goes against the popular stereotype that women are choosing men because of their money (or power) and men are choosing women because of their looks. Under some circumstances women seem to want “hot” men just like men want “hot” women.

In a recent paper Norman Li (UT Austin) and Doug Kenrick (Arizona State University) studied women’s preferences for short and long term mates. Both women and men were given some “mate dollars”. They could spend these dollars on different traits (physical attractiveness, social status, or warmth) in a potential mate who was an affair partner, a one-night stand, or a long-term partner. When they were “buying” traits for a long-term partner both men and women spent relatively more on warmth, when they were “buying” traits for a one-night stand partner, or an affair partner, both men and women spent more on physical attractiveness.

Li and Kenrick believe that attractiveness signals that a man is in good condition and that his offspring will inherit good physical qualities. It is a variant of what is called the sexy son hypothesis. Given a choice, women want a partner who will stick around and help raise their children. But if a woman must have a partner who is going to bail, he better be hot so her sons will also be able to attract many mates (and her daughters will get a lot of attention and resources from men).

My fiancee assures me those on the exception list are for short-term use only (a small consolation, really). What exactly do women look for in a short term mate? Li and Kenrick found that it was a good body.

So I better spend some time in the gym- but not too much time…I don’t want my better half to run into Hugh Jackman when I’m not around.

Further Reading:

Li, N. P. & Kenrick, D. T. (2006). Sex similarites and differences in preference for short-term mates: What, whether, and why. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 90, 468-489.