Comments on: Should we live together? http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/should-we-live-together/ Hot Science Blog Thu, 29 Oct 2009 15:14:21 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: S. Patton http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/should-we-live-together/comment-page-1/#comment-120365 S. Patton Thu, 29 Oct 2009 15:14:21 +0000 http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/should-we-live-together/#comment-120365 Lynn - How many kids do you have? For how long were you a single parent, and under what circumstances? How did that work out for you? Were you divorced due to an affair or due to abuse? Did you have amicable joint custody, or were you a single mother for a long period of time, bearing all responsibility and expenses for your children, while your ex-husband was jailed for physical and sexual abuse? Who kept your children while you worked and/or went back to school or finished your degree? Do you have a Master's or a Ph.D in psychology? How long have you been practicing? Since your concentration appears to be in child development and family relationships, what organizations are you involved with? What ongoing training are you involved with? Please tell me about your academic research in this area, any publications who have accepted your work, and how your findings are incorporated into current concepts in therapy. Lynn -

How many kids do you have? For how long were you a single parent, and under what circumstances? How did that work out for you? Were you divorced due to an affair or due to abuse? Did you have amicable joint custody, or were you a single mother for a long period of time, bearing all responsibility and expenses for your children, while your ex-husband was jailed for physical and sexual abuse? Who kept your children while you worked and/or went back to school or finished your degree?

Do you have a Master’s or a Ph.D in psychology? How long have you been practicing? Since your concentration appears to be in child development and family relationships, what organizations are you involved with? What ongoing training are you involved with? Please tell me about your academic research in this area, any publications who have accepted your work, and how your findings are incorporated into current concepts in therapy.

]]> By: Lynn http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/should-we-live-together/comment-page-1/#comment-2440 Lynn Wed, 03 Oct 2007 05:23:39 +0000 http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/should-we-live-together/#comment-2440 It is my opinion, and that of Dr. Joy Brown and other "experts", that people with children should NOT co-habitate. Can you imagine what this does to the children if the relationship does not work out? Also, as well as co-habitation, exposing your children to "serial dating" is severely damaging to their sense of security. If you are a single parent and cannot stand the thought of postponing dating until your children are securely and lovingly raised in an environment of security and consistency, and if you *must * date, then do NOT expose your children to your dates. If you are fortunate enough to find someone who has all the characteristics needed to take on your children and all that is implied in this, then only introduce your children to this person *after* you have discussed marriage. And BTW, this person is NOT to be considered a substitute parent. They are NOT to take on disciplinary roles. YOU are the parent to your child/children...no one else. Your future/new spouse may privately weigh in on parenting issues, but YOU are the person who is to do the parenting. As long as you have minor children under your roof, *they* are the priority in your life...not your next date. Lynn It is my opinion, and that of Dr. Joy Brown and other “experts”, that people with children should NOT co-habitate. Can you imagine what this does to the children if the relationship does not work out? Also, as well as co-habitation, exposing your children to “serial dating” is severely damaging to their sense of security. If you are a single parent and cannot stand the thought of postponing dating until your children are securely and lovingly raised in an environment of security and consistency, and if you *must * date, then do NOT expose your children to your dates. If you are fortunate enough to find someone who has all the characteristics needed to take on your children and all that is implied in this, then only introduce your children to this person *after* you have discussed marriage.

And BTW, this person is NOT to be considered a substitute parent. They are NOT to take on disciplinary roles. YOU are the parent to your child/children…no one else. Your future/new spouse may privately weigh in on parenting issues, but YOU are the person who is to do the parenting.

As long as you have minor children under your roof, *they* are the priority in your life…not your next date.

Lynn

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