Comments on: Breaking the Sexual Stereotype http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/gender-and-sex/ Hot Science Blog Thu, 29 Oct 2009 15:14:21 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Tom http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/gender-and-sex/comment-page-2/#comment-34138 Tom Tue, 26 Aug 2008 19:02:36 +0000 http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/gender-and-sex/#comment-34138 If you are just talking about sex - not a relationship then men want it more hands down. Check out any website devoted to hooking up - ads by men looking for women outnumber those for women looking for men by an enormous amount. Now go to a site where people are looking for a relationship and the numbers change dramatically. And here's a thought experiment - ladies walk up to any guy (that looks good to you) and ask him to have sex with you - most guys will says yes. Now guys do the same - you'll most likely get your faced slapped. For sex and sex alone - its no contest. As for the comments about European women vs Americans, I have some experience and have generally found women in Europe to be more sexual and more romantically inclined where American women are interested in money and/or dieting - sex seems lower priority, but that's not uniformly true as I found at least one American girl for whom sex was #1 If you are just talking about sex – not a relationship then men want it more hands down. Check out any website devoted to hooking up – ads by men looking for women outnumber those for women looking for men by an enormous amount. Now go to a site where people are looking for a relationship and the numbers change dramatically. And here’s a thought experiment – ladies walk up to any guy (that looks good to you) and ask him to have sex with you – most guys will says yes. Now guys do the same – you’ll most likely get your faced slapped. For sex and sex alone – its no contest.

As for the comments about European women vs Americans, I have some experience and have generally found women in Europe to be more sexual and more romantically inclined where American women are interested in
money and/or dieting – sex seems lower priority, but that’s not uniformly true as I found at least one American girl for whom sex was #1

]]> By: Heather http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/gender-and-sex/comment-page-2/#comment-3419 Heather Thu, 01 Nov 2007 03:09:43 +0000 http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/gender-and-sex/#comment-3419 It is odd, but I really do think about sex all the time. I am a bit rounder in the rear, but still shapely and pretty, and I don't think of sex as a confidence booster. I'd just like the feeling and my hormones wouldn't care who gives it, as long as he is good-looking or meaningful to me in some way (that does make a man more attractive to a woman, and that is why women can find a semi-ugly man sexy). However, like others have said, I do have to consider pregnancy, abandonment, etc. and so I don't actually follow through on any of my thoughts. But that is still WANT, is it not? Maybe men go out and actually get it, but I've heard from friends and co-workers that women, especially around age 30, as I am, want sex a LOT. And since I have chosen not to have sex til marriage, it is a constant annoyance in my mind, like a fly buzzing around during a picnic. Guys, get it? Women, do you have the same problem? It is odd, but I really do think about sex all the time. I am a bit rounder in the rear, but still shapely and pretty, and I don’t think of sex as a confidence booster. I’d just like the feeling and my hormones wouldn’t care who gives it, as long as he is good-looking or meaningful to me in some way (that does make a man more attractive to a woman, and that is why women can find a semi-ugly man sexy). However, like others have said, I do have to consider pregnancy, abandonment, etc. and so I don’t actually follow through on any of my thoughts.

But that is still WANT, is it not? Maybe men go out and actually get it, but I’ve heard from friends and co-workers that women, especially around age 30, as I am, want sex a LOT.

And since I have chosen not to have sex til marriage, it is a constant annoyance in my mind, like a fly buzzing around during a picnic.

Guys, get it? Women, do you have the same problem?

]]> By: Michael http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/gender-and-sex/comment-page-2/#comment-3346 Michael Wed, 31 Oct 2007 09:17:32 +0000 http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/gender-and-sex/#comment-3346 Sex is intimacy. Intimacy is the need to shares yourself deeply with someone, and in sharing we release our selves of the burden of self awareness to our flaws and find ourselves enlightened and delighted in feeling others are or have become one with our special views and our special selves (the sharing of one with another) - this is a self supporting egotistical boost and works to raises our self esteem and in equal parts lower our self awareness to our flaws. Not to mention the physiological health benefits that correlate with sex and hormones. So in short having sex makes us feel more at ease being our selves and also feel as if we belong to something bigger than ourselves. If we subconsciously acquire our understanding of a “sexual desire level” that we perceive others have, by equating it with our own personal level of sexual desire that we have for others. Then this to say that for all we know others are just as interested in sex as we are, and or for all intents and purposes “should be”… We all have “the need to share ourselves” and to find a better place where the better things we have to offer belong… This is how we grow and develop ourselves as human beings. Sex is personal effect that comes from human nature so is conversation. It’s in our nature to procreate and verbally express ourselves. Sex can also be a social anomaly so can conversation, just like sports and the construct of our work place and the television sitcoms that show us what has become of our society… If you are good at sex share it and find a place/person where it belongs and is well received. If you are good at conversation share it and find a place/person where it belongs and is well received. If you are good at sports share it and find a place/person where it belongs and is well received. By being free spirited sexually oriented people we are at the mercy of society saying where it does and does not belongs… What works in public or mainstream society does not work well in our personal lives… Let’s enjoy our sex and not destroy or pervert our world… Let’s realizes where sociological respects end and we as people begin… Let’s have patience in waiting for society to become “personaliety” and grant substance to being human beings, and embrace our human nature. The discovery of “human nature” is where we will find our answers. There will always be an ongoing and ever changing understanding of society and how we must nurture our proliferating sociological perception of one another. We are not dealing with human beings and the nature of human beings when we question sex in society. We are saying society has a say in how the nature of human beings should be sexually, so that society as a whole can become more comfortable with the sexuality of human beings and define its place in this world. We will always be one people if we are looked at as “human beings”, and we should look closely at human nature if we are to understand our place. But, as a society (by very definition being an all inclusive) us having an empirical definition of whom we should be or all should become, with a proliferating notion of an ever changing society, and that does justice to being human beings and human nature, I believe in an alluding goal heading in the wrong direction. Sex is intimacy. Intimacy is the need to shares yourself deeply with someone, and in sharing we release our selves of the burden of self awareness to our flaws and find ourselves enlightened and delighted in feeling others are or have become one with our special views and our special selves (the sharing of one with another) – this is a self supporting egotistical boost and works to raises our self esteem and in equal parts lower our self awareness to our flaws.
Not to mention the physiological health benefits that correlate with sex and hormones.
So in short having sex makes us feel more at ease being our selves and also feel as if we belong to something bigger than ourselves.

If we subconsciously acquire our understanding of a “sexual desire level” that we perceive others have, by equating it with our own personal level of sexual desire that we have for others.
Then this to say that for all we know others are just as interested in sex as we are, and or for all intents and purposes “should be”…

We all have “the need to share ourselves” and to find a better place where the better things we have to offer belong…
This is how we grow and develop ourselves as human beings.
Sex is personal effect that comes from human nature so is conversation.
It’s in our nature to procreate and verbally express ourselves.
Sex can also be a social anomaly so can conversation, just like sports and the construct of our work place and the television sitcoms that show us what has become of our society…

If you are good at sex share it and find a place/person where it belongs and is well received.
If you are good at conversation share it and find a place/person where it belongs and is well received.
If you are good at sports share it and find a place/person where it belongs and is well received.

By being free spirited sexually oriented people we are at the mercy of society saying where it does and does not belongs…
What works in public or mainstream society does not work well in our personal lives…

Let’s enjoy our sex and not destroy or pervert our world…
Let’s realizes where sociological respects end and we as people begin…

Let’s have patience in waiting for society to become “personaliety” and grant substance to being human beings, and embrace our human nature.
The discovery of “human nature” is where we will find our answers.

There will always be an ongoing and ever changing understanding of society and how we must nurture our proliferating sociological perception of one another.
We are not dealing with human beings and the nature of human beings when we question sex in society.
We are saying society has a say in how the nature of human beings should be sexually, so that society as a whole can become more comfortable with the sexuality of human beings and define its place in this world.

We will always be one people if we are looked at as “human beings”, and we should look closely at human nature if we are to understand our place.
But, as a society (by very definition being an all inclusive) us having an empirical definition of whom we should be or all should become, with a proliferating notion of an ever changing society, and that does justice to being human beings and human nature, I believe in an alluding goal heading in the wrong direction.

]]> By: Stephanie http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/gender-and-sex/comment-page-2/#comment-3340 Stephanie Wed, 31 Oct 2007 06:32:43 +0000 http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/gender-and-sex/#comment-3340 Well...I am not sure about others, but in my last relationship I wanted more sex than the guy did. I have a few friends who share this problem. I say problem, because it is frustrating as a woman not to be pursued. I also have two other friends who are not interested in sex as much as their guys. I always hear that guys want more sex, but I have not met this guy yet! I wonder if this is just in the movies?? And how much you ask would I say is enough? I think every other day and even every day is nice. i wonder if a man gets this on a regular basis, if he would be less interested in wanting sex? Well I wish men DID want more sex. Well…I am not sure about others, but in my last relationship I wanted more sex than the guy did. I have a few friends who share this problem. I say problem, because it is frustrating as a woman not to be pursued.
I also have two other friends who are not interested in sex as much as their guys.
I always hear that guys want more sex, but I have not met this guy yet! I wonder if this is just in the movies??
And how much you ask would I say is enough? I think every other day and even every day is nice. i wonder if a man gets this on a regular basis, if he would be less interested in wanting sex? Well I wish men DID want more sex.

]]> By: Richard http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/gender-and-sex/comment-page-2/#comment-3324 Richard Mon, 29 Oct 2007 15:49:20 +0000 http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/gender-and-sex/#comment-3324 The Q is a bit misleading. It is not the fact that sex is more important to one than the other, but to what extent sex weighs on a relationship and to what order it is in the steps of a relationship. I have observed that both want sex. Men see it as a vehicle to intimacy, while women see it as the destination. These observations are in serious relationships and not found within the clubbing scene, which is a different intent. Rich The Q is a bit misleading. It is not the fact that sex is more important to one than the other, but to what extent sex weighs on a relationship and to what order it is in the steps of a relationship. I have observed that both want sex. Men see it as a vehicle to intimacy, while women see it as the destination. These observations are in serious relationships and not found within the clubbing scene, which is a different intent.

Rich

]]> By: Norm http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/gender-and-sex/comment-page-2/#comment-3287 Norm Fri, 26 Oct 2007 22:01:41 +0000 http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/gender-and-sex/#comment-3287 Men want it more 99.9% of the time. End of story. Men want it more 99.9% of the time. End of story.

]]> By: Jolene http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/gender-and-sex/comment-page-2/#comment-3139 Jolene Tue, 23 Oct 2007 18:09:40 +0000 http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/gender-and-sex/#comment-3139 Well if we jump out of Western culture and go back in time to ancient Jewish law, it required men to make sex available to their wives a minimum number of times per week, depending on the men's line of work. (Men of leisure had to offer it more, and laborers less.) It didn't require the women to reciprocate or to accept! But it seemed to assume that the woman was going to want more sex than the man, and had a right to have a minimum amount. Well if we jump out of Western culture and go back in time to ancient Jewish law, it required men to make sex available to their wives a minimum number of times per week, depending on the men’s line of work. (Men of leisure had to offer it more, and laborers less.) It didn’t require the women to reciprocate or to accept! But it seemed to assume that the woman was going to want more sex than the man, and had a right to have a minimum amount.

]]> By: katherine http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/gender-and-sex/comment-page-2/#comment-2833 katherine Thu, 18 Oct 2007 11:37:17 +0000 http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/gender-and-sex/#comment-2833 I would like to meet Davicio del Toro - My kind of man and I am probably his kind of woman. katherine I would like to meet Davicio del Toro -

My kind of man and I am probably his kind of woman.

katherine

]]> By: Nicole http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/gender-and-sex/comment-page-2/#comment-2734 Nicole Tue, 16 Oct 2007 04:49:00 +0000 http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/gender-and-sex/#comment-2734 My libido always goes up when I have time to breathe and think about more than just getting through the next chore/task I have to get through. Sadly, my former spouse wasn't able to grasp this concept and sex became another chore/task on my to-do list. Istongly believe that ther isn't an imbalnce in sex drives just reponsibilties. My libido always goes up when I have time to breathe and think about more than just getting through the next chore/task I have to get through. Sadly, my former spouse wasn’t able to grasp this concept and sex became another chore/task on my to-do list.

Istongly believe that ther isn’t an imbalnce in sex drives just reponsibilties.

]]> By: Les http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/gender-and-sex/comment-page-2/#comment-2686 Les Sat, 13 Oct 2007 16:07:52 +0000 http://www.eharmony.com/labs/blog/2007/07/gender-and-sex/#comment-2686 I am not sure men and women desire sex equally. Each of us is different in that regard. As long as you and your partner agree on and can accommodate each others needs and desires who cares what the experts say? I am not sure men and women desire sex equally. Each of us is different in that regard. As long as you and your partner agree on and can accommodate each others needs and desires who cares what the experts say?

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