You had a disagreement at work, people wouldn’t listen. Maybe that caused you to miss a deadline; that’s not acceptable. You feel underappreciated and overworked…but a troubled work environment may affect more than your day, more than your mood, it turns out that a bad day in the office can even affect your relationship.

Problems at work may turn you sour; you may groan and complain. You may even snap at your partner when it’s not them you’re mad at (see literature on scapegoat theory). But problems can run even deeper for those with low self esteem. Instead of counting a bad day in the office, as one bad day, people with low self esteem seem to internalize such failure. When they experience disappointment at work, they also tend to feel less loved and less accepted by their partners (Murray, et al 2006; read more). And that in turn puts doubt into the relationship by allowing them to think that their partners don’t accept and love them as much as they really do.

So, if you have a bad day, try to keep those feelings in check. Be aware of how you treat your partner and be kind to yourself…remember, tomorrow is another day.

Further Reading:

Murray, S. L., Griffin, D. W., Rose, P., Bellavia, G. (2006). For better or worse? Self-esteem and the contingencies of acceptance in marriage. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 32, 866-880.