Thanks to the popular media, Oxytocin is nearly a house-hold name. Referred to as the “Love Hormone” or the “Cuddle Chemical”, the mass media and public alike have latched on to the idea that Oxytocin is responsible for the formation of monogamous bonds in both prairie voles and people. Given the availability of this information, it’s no surprise that when people hear that Oxytocin is released in large quantities upon orgasm, they begin to wonder: If I have sex with someone, will I fall in love with that someone? Maybe, maybe not.

Recent neurological evidence, suggests that Oxytocin is indeed necessary for monogamous bond formation (in prairie voles), but it’s not the only thing that is needed (Liu & Wang, 2003). This evidence suggests instead that Oxytocin isn’t the “Cuddle Chemical” we had hoped, but rather, Oxytocin works in combination with Dopamine to help form monogamous pair-bonds.

Many would remember that Dopamine is involved in drug-induced euphoria and amphetamine highs, but it is also critical for alerting us to the possibility of obtaining rewarding stimuli (food, sex, etc.). While it’s not quite clear yet what the story with Oxytocin is exactly, we can be sure that it’s much more complex than we thought.

One educated guess is that Oxytocin alerts us to rewarding stimuli when we happen across them, but Dopamine gets us excited about those stimuli later on—that is, Dopamine makes us crave these stimuli when we are reminded of them (Depue & Morrone-Strupinsky, 2005). What this means for sexual encounters is that after sex, the rewarding feeling of Oxytocin release helps us remember the positive sexual experience that just occurred. When we run into our partners later on, we recall this positive experience, and Dopamine gets us excited at the prospect of more sex from them. However, Oxytocin also seems to be released in a variety of social situations involving trust and perhaps even intimacy, which seem closer in kind to what we think of as “love” than just sexual desire (Zak et al., 2005; see also Gonzaga et al., 2006). When Oxytocin is released in these situations and we reflect these positive experiences, Dopamine should make us anticipate love or non-sexual intimate interactions more than sexual ones.

In sum, it seems like there is some selectivity in this system. If we have sex with someone, the next time we see them we’ll think of sex with them. On the other hand, if we have an intimate moment with someone, the next time we think of them, we might just want to recreate the intimacy. I don’t think that having sex with someone guarantees that you’ll fall in love with them. Then again, sex can clearly make relationships more intimate. For that to happen, we may need to have romantic feelings for them prior to having sex with them.

When thinking about neurology, it is critical to remember that no one chemical does ALL the work. Neurotransmitters and hormones interact with each other and play different roles in different brain regions. To say that one chemical is making us do this or that is keeping us from appreciating the complexity of our miraculous brains and minds.

Further Reading about Oxytocin:

http://www.oxytocin.org/oxytoc/index.html

http://www.oxytocin.org/oxytoc/love-science.html

http://www.oxytocin.org/cuddle-hormone/index.html

http://www.byregion.net/articles-healers/Love_Evergreen.html

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/love/

http://rdoctor.com/symptoms_disease/index2.php?option=com_content&do_pdf=1&id=238

http://www.forbes.com/lists/2005/07/25/singles-drugs-love-cx_mh_0725lovedrug.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin