How your attractiveness affects your perception of others
by Emily Maywood | December 20, 2011
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A new study out of Williams College suggests that we (especially men) tend to read sexual cues completely wrong. Furthermore, our perception of another person’s desire for us relies heavily on our intentions (wanting just a hook up vs. something more serious) as well as how we rate our own attractiveness.
Researchers Carin Perilloux, Judith Easton and David Buss designed a study which put 69 males and 103 females through a “speed meeting” exercise in which every person talked to five potential opposite-sex mates for three minutes each. Prior to the exercise, all participants were asked to rate their own level of attractiveness as well as their intentions of having a short-term sexual encounter. Afterward, the participants rated each potential partner on measures such as physical attractiveness and whether they believed the potential partner had sexual interest in them.
Results suggested that men who were interested in a short-term sexual encounter tended to overestimate a woman’s desire for them. Additionally, there were differences among men in estimating a woman’s desire for themselves depending upon how attractive they thought themselves to be vs. his actual attractiveness (or, how attractive women rated him). The hotter a man thought he was, the more he overestimated women being hot for him. On the contrary, men who were actually attractive did not make this mistake. Women, on the other hand, tended to underestimate men’s desire in general.
In a recent Science Daily article, Perilloux discusses the impacts these findings have on evolution, in that she believes that these errors may have enhanced men’s reproductive success. The researchers suggest that the type of guy that continued to ask women out, even at the risk of being rejected, were likelier to reproduce and therefore pass on their erroneous ways of perceiving a woman’s desire.
Though previous research had already suggested that men and women tended to misidentify sexual cues from friendliness cues (Farris, Treat, Viken & McFall, 2008), this study is the first examine individual differences, according to Perilloux. Her advice to women is to be very clear when communicating either your desire or your disinterest in a man. Men should also be keenly aware of how their level of attraction to a potential mate might distort their perception of how the other person feels towards them.
So the next time you’re wondering what a potential mate might be thinking, keep these findings in mind in order to have the best shot at finding love.
Similar articles from eHarmony Labs that you might enjoy:
Interest is in the Eye of the Beholder - Can you tell when others show interest in you? You might not be the only one…find out more.
Sexual Intentions are Written All Over Your Face - We can determined whether someone is looking for a long-term or short-term sexual partner just by looking at their face.
Is Love Blind? - Or does love make us blind? Despite wanting to know everything about our relationship partners, we are sometimes inaccurate in understanding how they feel. Find out more about Dr. Kenny’s latest research and discover why.
Further Reading:
Farris C, Treat TA, Viken RJ, & McFall RM (2008). Perceptual mechanisms that characterize gender differences in decoding women’s sexual intent. Psychological science, 19 (4), 348-54 PMID: 18399887
It does make perfect sense really, doesn’t it? The more attractive most people are the more they would put themselves above others in their own minds. Well, that’s how I see them as acting anyway. You, of course, can’t say this applies to ALL people as stereotypes are rarely a good thing.
This was certainly a great read though, Emily. One that really got me thinking. Hopefully this is the first of many comments soon to come.
Matt.
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