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Online Love: Ten Rules to Remember

by eHarmony Staff

Online love is still a relatively new experience for many of us. Here are some rules of the road from our very own eHarmony staffers.

Do Unto Others…

If you decide you are just not into someone you meet online, why not just say “Thanks, but no thanks.” Whether that means closing a match or sending a message, it’s not cool to leave someone hanging.

Turn the Page

You start communicating with a match and poof – they never respond again. Instead of wasting energy trying to assess what went wrong, put your thoughts and mind into moving forward -- and onto the next! You’ll likely never know what went awry, so don’t worry about it.

Too Much, Too Soon

Tempted to spill your guts in a nervous moment? Don’t do it! Whether it is in person and/or when filling out your profile, allow someone time to get to know you and never relive your history with the ex or other traumatic moments of your past. Keep it positive – because that is the type of person everyone wants to be around.

Honesty is the Best Policy

Yes, we have to say this again! Don’t waste your time or anyone else’s by fibbing about who you are and what you really look like. Photos from 20 years ago? Don’t do it! Be as honest as possible and you will have the best chance at success.

Don’t Assume

When you experience someone via online dating, it is best to keep an open mind and not make too many assumptions before you actually meet them face to face. There could be an amazing person behind that limited or mediocre profile! If your instinct tells you there is something possibly there, then get to know them better through real communication (phone and then maybe a meeting)!

Safety First

We can’t talk about meeting someone online without reminding everyone to be smart about it. Review our Safety Tips!

Expand Your Horizons

You see a match’s profile – but he is a bit shorter than you were hoping for. It’s time to throw out those old notions about who the perfect person is for you. A) There’s no such thing as perfect and B) What if the best person for you is three inches shorter than you’d hoped? Don’t let a few inches come between you and a chance at finding love.

Smile for the Camera

We can’t impress enough how important accurate and recent photos are to include on your profile. Posting a pic has been shown to get you NINE times more communication on eHarmony; no one wants to communicate with an empty box! We strongly recommend posting AT LEAST 3 photos, however, there's room for 12, and the more, the better. More photos will cause your matches to spend more time on your profile, and they will be more inclined to remember you.

Take a Look in the Mirror

So you have a very long list at what you’d prefer in a partner. Try turning the tables on yourself – and make sure that you have as much to offer as well. If not, maybe it’s time to scale back such big expectations?

It’s All About Attitude

One of eHarmony’s very first employees said he noticed that singles who had a generous nature (“Here is what I have to give to another,” and “I want to share this quality with another.”) succeeded at a much higher rate in finding love than those who held the attitude, “What does he/she have to offer me?” or “I need this and this in a partner.”

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