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Five Good Things About Guided Communication

By eHarmony Advice Host Renee

Five Good Things About Guided Communication

Choosing with whom to share your life is one of the most important decisions you can make.   At eHarmony, not only do we match members in areas key to successful, long-term relationships, but we also provide a Communication Process to make it easier for members to share important information anonymously before getting too involved.

Our Communication Process includes both Guided Communication and eHarmony Mail.  While it is possible to skip to eHarmony Mail with a willing match, we encourage members to take advantage of the Guided Communication process, which, we are happy to share, most members choose to do.

So what’s so good about Guided Communication?

1. Guided Communication lets you comfortably and easily engage in communication with a match.
Communication is key to finding your special match, so we want initiating communication to be as anxiety-free and easy as possible.  Whether you’re someone who is comfortable dating or just back on the dating scene, it can be difficult to start a conversation with a match.  With the first phase, Get to Know Each Other, we make it easy for you to begin communicating by providing a list of questions that cover a wide range of areas.  For instance, you can ask a member about their personality traits, leisure-time activities, and/or their dreams and aspirations.  Answering is also made easy because you can choose from a list or create your own. 

2. Guided Communication lets you give yourself and a match a chance.
When you receive a match, you already have some important information about them, such as their age, occupation, what they’re passionate about, and viewed posted photos.  But even the best profile and photos can only tell so much.  Guided Communication lets you get to know this match a little better fairly effortlessly.   What you learn may confirm that this match really doesn’t have potential to be the one. But it’s possible you could be happily surprised by their answers and questions.  

3. Guided Communication lets you thoughtfully and deliberately evaluate your matches.
It’s natural to want to find your soul mate as soon as possible and begin your life together. However, sometimes that desire can blind you to core incompatibilities or lead you to place too much importance on qualities or traits that, ultimately, won’t sustain a happy relationship.  Taking advantage of Guided Communication gives you the opportunity to evaluate your matches more objectively.  After each interaction, you have the chance to consider whether a match could still be the one.  You can also take the time to compare matches to determine which are beginning to connect with you on a deeper level. What you discover can then help you best decide if you should continue communicating with a match or not. 

4. Guided Communication helps you focus your search in a way that best supports your success.
Yes, we encourage you to be open-minded and engage in communication with most, if not all, of your matches.  However, the truth is, some compatible matches won’t interest you immediately or, through communicating, seem less likely to be relationship material.  How do you know if you are being open-minded or blind to red flags?   How do you know if you’re being too selective or not being open to the possibilities? Well, your Must Haves and Can’t Stands are there to guide you. Before dating, many people don’t even think about their Must Haves and Can’t Stands or, at best, have a vague idea.  But in Guided Communication, you not only choose your Must Haves and Can’t Stands, but also have the chance to exchange them with matches.   If your Must Have and Can’t Stands are very different, it’s best to know now.  If they’re somewhat different or you have a question about a match’s choice, there’s something else to discuss. 

5. Guided Communication is flexible.
You can choose to send the same initial questions to each match, or you can tailor them to fit a specific match.  During the Question phases, you can choose among answers or create your own.  If you need to adjust your Must Have and/or Can’t Stands, you can. You can skip to eHarmony Mail at will (however, remember that you can’t go back after doing so). And, you can close communication at any time.

Guided Communication is an easy way to engage with your matches and helps you take the time to get to know them in a more in-depth way.  The important information shared during this process will help you decide if a match is someone you want to take that next step with — entering into eHarmony Mail. 


If this article gave you the confidence to find your match, try eHarmony today!

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