You haven’t posted any pictures online — yet you finally joined as part of your quest to stop kissing toads, right?
What’s holding you back? Worried that once your picture is up that no one will respond? Perhaps you are concerned that someone you know might recognize you? Maybe even afraid of cyber-stalkers? Or are you quite simply struggling about which picture you should post?
Whatever the reason – get that picture up today.
In an online dating profile, your pictures act as your stationery – and really nice stationery is memorable. If you want someone to come to your party, you have to invite them, right? But more importantly, you have to send an invitation that they would actually open. Just like a party invitation – if it looks like junk mail it does not get opened.
OK, so that didn’t cut it, right? You’re frustrated with me and saying, “Heidi Lee, a little help, please!”
Alright, alright. Dating is scary, and online dating can be nerve-wracking. When your picture finally goes live, you feel like you’ve made that final leap into a daunting new world. Let’s look at each of your excuses and see if we can help you to overcome them, shall we?
Excuse #1: If no one likes my picture, I won’t get any dates
You can be sure that without a photo, you also won’t find any dates. Not sharing a picture tells potential suitors that you have something to hide. Profiles without pictures get deleted – period. With the thousands of people joining daily, odds are that someone is going to think you are absolutely stunning, but not if you don’t finish powdering your nose and come out to the party.
Excuse #2: Someone I know might recognize me
If someone recognizes you, they are online as well! Nothing to be embarrassed about. Everyone is in it together – and a basic etiquette exists among most members. “I didn’t see you and you didn’t see me – capiche?”
However, if both of you are comfortable and find a neutral way to address the idea, you may just find a new partner in crime. Best case scenario, though, you now know that the hot guy on the 2nd floor of your building is single.
Excuse #3: I’m afraid of Cyber-Stalkers
In this day and age, this is understandable. But – they don’t know who you are just because you put your picture online. You would actually need to give them identifying information to find you. This is not a reason to hide your great smile – instead hide your full name, phone number and address. Don’t give this information out until you are comfortable with who is on the receiving end. In fact, many of the dating sites offer an Anonymous Phone Call feature so you can connect while still maintaining anonymity.
Excuse #4: I don’t know what kind of picture to post
Ok, so this one is a little more tricky. Let me offer some guidance:
Use snapshots rather than professional photos for your profile picture. People trust the sincerity of candid shots, whereas professional pictures tend to send mixed messages. Use a picture that shows your face – preferably with a smile. Make sure that you use a picture taken within the last year or so. Potential suitors will see an old photo as a lie.
The most important thing about putting up your picture is that you are honest about it. Own who you are, and be proud of yourself.
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