Building a great profile is always a challenge. What to leave in? What to leave out? But if you don’t have a deep well of interesting life accomplishments, stories, or philosophies, what then? How do you stand out from the crowd when you’re just getting started in life?
Talk About Your Practical Dreams
The term “dreamer” has a mixed connotation. A dreamer can be forward looking, sometimes innovative, reaching out for challenging goals. Equal numbers of people see dreamers as hopeless romantics who waste their time with pie in the sky schemes that can never amount to anything.
The perfect middle ground is the practical dreamer – a person who has his/her feet in the ground and eyes on lofty goals. A practical dreamer is taking concrete steps to accomplish those goals. If you haven’t accomplished much yet in life, share some of the practical dreams you’re focused on achieving. Maybe you’re trying to start a business, or accomplish a daunting physical goal. Maybe you want to buy a house or spend some time exploring Europe. Writing about these real and yet unrealized dreams lets your matches know that you’re a thinker who is chasing down deeper accomplishments. It also gives you something interesting to discuss on a first date.
Spend Some Time Thinking About Yourself
Sooner or later you’re going to want to know who you are. It isn’t uncommon for people to be 25, 30, even 35 and have no idea who they really are. What are your needs? What do you love and dislike? What kinds of activities are core to your well being? It can be impossible to know who a good relationship partner is if we have so little insight into what makes us truly happy.
Spend some quiet time thinking about these issues, and consider this eHarmony Advice article which contains 20 Questions that you can answer to help illuminate yourself. http://advice.eharmony.com/article/twenty-questions-to-ask-yourself.html
If You Don’t Know, Say So
When creating a profile there can be pressure to spell out grand plans for your matches. “In five years I’d like to live in the country with a dog and a baby.” If you’ve thought that far ahead, no problem, but if you haven’t, don’t try and fake it. Be honest. “I have no idea what I want to do in five years.” Let your matches know that you’re still thinking about the kind of life you want to have.
Men sometimes feel that this make them seem shallow – like they are aimlessly wandering the earth going to parties. But you can be serious about a relationship and still be learning about the life you want to lead. As Chicago Tribune columnist Mary Schmich wrote,
“Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.”
Admitting what you don’t know also applies to who you want to be with. We believe it is pointless to layer on lot’s of “must have” phrases, especially if you have dated very little and haven’t formed strong opinions. Use this to your advantage. Tell the world that you’re open-minded and eager to experience lots of different kinds of matches. You’ll go out more. You’ll have more fun, and it’s the best way to learn what kind of person works well with you.
Zero in on What You Love
One of the best ways to make up for your lack of experiences is to focus in on the few you’ve had and explain why you loved them. Perhaps you haven’t seen the world or even been far from home, but you have been somewhere — maybe just to the beach for a long weekend. Why did you love it? “I haven’t travelled as much as I’d like, but I love the feeling of getting away, leaving all your troubles on the doorstep, and heading out for a few days of sun, rest, water and new experiences.”
We can all relate to that — whether we’ve sailed the seven seas or just enjoyed weekend getaways to the local lake.
Write About The People in Your Life
One thing a younger person has over an older person when it comes to writing a profile is proximity to important mentors. A 60-year-old man may scarcely remember the coach who had a profound effect on him, but the 24-year-old can still remember the smell of his cologne.
These important teachers/mentors and what they taught you can be fascinating profile information as long as you work at sharing the lessons well. You’ve got to really dig in. Help your reader feel this person’s impact on you. Write about the phrases he/she used. Right about the ways you’ve applied this guidance to great benefit. Discussing these mentors in detail helps your matches understand what is important to you and that you have an ability to absorb the important lessons of life.
Here are some unique answers to profile questions.
By posting a comment, I agree to the Community Standards.
Need help with eHarmony.com?