Open communication is a perfect time to practice relating to a man without time pressure. Here’s how to take advantage of it and make a connection with his heart…before you even speak a word.
Those early exchanges with a man on eHarmony can be exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. You want to spark a connection, build rapport, attract him, and get to know the “real” him.
But how do you do this? Impress him with your wit? Be elusive and coy? Flirt? Ask him all about himself and compliment him?
All of these approaches may engage him in conversation, but they aren’t the way to attract him at a deep level. The best way to build a connection with a man is by speaking to him through your heart, and you do this by honestly expressing your feelings. When you engage him at this level, you are laying the foundation for love and separating yourself from all the other people in his life.
So instead of sharing facts, use Open Communication to share feelings
Speaking from your heart lets him see and appreciate the real you. Because instead of just giving factual answers, you’re giving insight into who you are.
Let me show you how this works:
If a man asks you about an interest you’d like to share with a partner, you might be inclined to say something like “sailing” or “foreign film”.
But these answers reveal just facts. They are things you can read on a resume or find out from a new acquaintance. They don’t make him connect to you on an emotional level or compel him to open his heart to you.
But what if you answered: “I feel happiest and most alive when I’m on the water.” Or, “No matter what the language, I love how I can really relate to the feelings of the characters in foreign film. I feel so moved by how alike we all are despite our particular circumstances.” Or even, “I love how I can shut the world out and escape to another place. I feel entranced.”
Now you’ve revealed how you feel. You’ve opened your heart, and invited him to get to know you in a more meaningful, emotional way.
During Open Communication, adopt the motto “Feel before you speak”
Let’s try another example: suppose he wants to know what one possession you’d save if your house was on fire. You might feel the need to give a pat answer like “my laptop”, “a necklace my grandmother gave me,” or “my passport.”
But what’s the real feeling when you think about your home up in flames? Go with that. Say, “Oh my. It feels really scary to think about this. In fact, I really don’t even want to consider it. The only thing I’d want is to be near the people I love so I could feel safe.”
See the difference?
Expressing your feelings can’t fail to move someone – especially a man – unless his heart is made of stone, in which case you might not want to date him!
When you go first and open your heart, you will naturally create a safe space for him to express himself. The more you reveal from your heart, the safer he will feel opening up his. And that’s when real connection happens. That’s how people become close friends, and that’s how they fall in love.
To learn more ways to speak from your heart in order to connect with his, subscribe to Rori’s free e-newsletter. Rori will teach you specific ways to use Feeling Messages throughout the dating process from that first meeting all the way through to commitment. You’ll learn how to get closer to a man and create the relationship you want while staying true to you.