Learn the three surprising ingredients that make the right man truly connect with you. Hint: they have very little to do with him.
When you’ve been single for a while (sometimes years), and someone finally comes along who really rocks your boat, it’s easy to get lost in the rush of new romance. You’ve been longing for love and are tired of being alone, and it feels almost impossible not to devote as much of your time and energy as you can to feeding your new romance.
After all, feeling romantic about someone and falling in love is one of the best feelings any of us can ever experience. And so, before we know it, we’re totally swept away and wrapped up with the new man in our life. But it’s at this particular time – when you’re feeling all giddy about someone – that you should keep three important things in mind to make sure you get the relationship you really want…with the right man.
BELIEVE THAT YOU DESERVE NOTHING LESS THAN YOU WANT
It’s in this early stage of romance where we often turn a blind eye to things that make us feel uneasy with a man. The early stages of dating are a getting-to-know-each-other phase where you should both take the time to decide whether or not you want to pursue something deeper.
Do his values mesh with yours, or do you have irreconcilable differences? Is he kind, or does he act rude with the waiter? The only way to discover this is to get to know a man in different situations before you decide if he’s a good match for you.
Of course, in order to know if he’s the right match for you, you need to have a clear idea of what you want from a relationship to begin with. You also need to be convinced that you deserve all the love and romance you long for.
If there’s something inside of you that in any way makes you think you aren’t worthy of a man’s love, passion, and attention, then you will have a difficult time connecting with the kind of man who can give this to you. You will also be more likely to get involved with a man who isn’t right for you. To attract the right man and develop the relationship you want with him, you must first be clear about your heart’s desire and believe you deserve nothing less.
WORK ON RAISING YOUR SELF ESTEEM EVERY DAY
Self-esteem is the key to getting – and keeping – love from a man. If you don’t have self-esteem, you won’t have what I call a High Degree of Difficulty.
That’s when a man perceives that you honor and respect yourself, and you know what you will or will not tolerate. This makes you incredibly attractive to a man and is what can make the right man fall more in love with you every day.
We women, because we are such givers, often neglect ourselves, our friends, and our interests when a man comes into our lives. We’ll spend a lot of energy making sure he’s happy, and we often become drained in the process. Our self-esteem goes down, as does our High Degree of Difficulty.
Here’s the good news: you can instantly raise your Degree of Difficulty. You do this by being good to yourself – by pampering yourself, doing activities you like, taking care of yourself, and redirecting all the energy you’d normally spend on a man onto yourself.
MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY FIRST
If you want to have the kind of relationship that will make you feel secure and loved, here is my one rule for you: focus on making yourself happy every moment of your life.
This might seem counterintuitive at first – aren’t we women supposed to make our men happy? Well yes, but it’s not how you might think. That’s because what makes a good man happy is to make us happy!
Good men like to give you presents, they like to take you out, they like to call you, they like to be faithful to you, and they like the way it feels when you feel good about yourself when you’re with them.
Moreover, they like the way it feels when you let them know you feel good. So, simply start expecting that the man in your life will do his best to make you happy – without asking him to – and let him know when he does make you happy.
The right man will knock himself out to make you happy, but only if you let him. So believe you deserve the relationship you want, keep the focus on you, and always put yourself first. When you do, you’ll be on your way to more love than you ever imagined.
Rori teaches women how to attract the right man and have the kind of close, connected relationship they’ve dreamed of. To learn specific ways to relate to a man – from the early stages of dating all the way through commitment – subscribe to Rori’s free e-newsletter. You’ll discover a new, fun way to date that’s all about you, raises your self-esteem, and draws the right man to you effortlessly.