You’re dating, it’s wonderful, then bam! The breakup happens out of nowhere. Here are the biggest reasons why relationships don’t last…
You Want Marriage - and He Doesn't
This one is for the ladies. If you’ve been pushing to get married, and he’s been less than enthusiastic, it should come as no surprise that he wants out. He may love you, but your goals are different and you NEVER want to rope a man into marriage. Consider yourself lucky. It’s time to go and find a man who appreciates you and is ready for marriage. They are out there.
They Found Someone Else
This has got to be one of the most painful ways to part ways. You are cruising along with this person, enjoying your romantic life together, when they drop the news like a ton of bricks, “I’ve met someone else.” Hey, it has happened to most of us. In the end, this person obviously wasn’t the one and there is a better match out there. All you can do is say, “Your loss,” and move on with your head held high.
They’re All Out of Love…or Infatuation…or Whatever it Was!
Look, some (many!) relationships are just not meant to last for the long haul. You meet someone, there’s chemistry, and then it fizzles. The bottom line -- it wasn’t real love in the first place. Chalk it up to a learning experience; you learn what you like and don’t like.
Distance Doesn’t Make the Heart Grow Fonder
Long distance love does work for some – but not most. Most of us need to actually spend time and energy with the other person for our feelings to grow stronger.
The sad reality is that money matters plague many couples, especially in today’s volatile job market. It’s tough to make it work when someone is out of work, struggling to just pay bills, or working two jobs to make ends meet. The stress this places on a relationship can be too much to deal with. Communication plays a crucial role if you are in this situation.
It is often said that it takes about six months to really get to know a person. This is often true, and when it is revealed that someone has serious emotional issues (like anger, control, jealousy, or an instability of some kind), many will opt out of that situation. It’s their prerogative to choose this path, even if it seems selfish. The best thing anyone can do is deal with their problems and handle their baggage.
You Have Secrets
Joe was a nice guy, but he had lots of secrets. For example, his parents didn’t know he drank alcohol, and so when they came for a visit he and his girlfriend had to stash their wine collection in the basement. There were dozens of these little life secrets that he felt he had to keep. One day Kari said, “Enough!” and threw in the towel. If you’ve built a web of lies for your family, your co-workers, and various groups of friends, don’t be surprised if a new romantic partner balks at wanting to join the charade.
Have you ever said, “Who were you with?” Have you ever told your partner that you didn’t want them hanging around certain opposite-sex friends? Perhaps you think you’ve been subtle in your jealous tendencies. It doesn’t matter. If you seem threatened by the people your girlfriend/boyfriend interacts with, it will become apparent. You may feel that your jealousy is warranted. Great. It’s time to break up. Otherwise, check your paranoia, and put a little trust in your partner. Otherwise, they are going to show you the door.
Religion is a funny thing with some people. It doesn’t matter, until it matters. There are many adults in their 20’s and 30’s who seem to have little use for the faith of their parents. They may date without regard to religion, but then one day, they realize that it is very important to their future. This may not happen until they begin to think of having children. You may find that the religious differences that didn’t matter for years are, all of a sudden, a significant deal-breaker. Unfortunately, it can be one of those issues where earnest discussion and compromise won't make a difference.
Family Gets in the Way
You’ve heard the old adage, “You don’t just marry the person. You marry his/her family.” So true. When we’re doing the calculus of who would be a good long-term partner, inevitably the person’s family plays some part in the equation. It may sound harsh, but if your family is intrusive, domineering, belittling or just plain crazy, your partner may just decide he/she can’t handle it.
It’s date night. Should you serve oysters? Ask your significant other to feed you clusters of grapes? Are chocolate-covered strawberries worth the effort?