The Secret to Finding the Love You Want

by eHarmony Staff

The Secret to Finding the Love You Want

Click Here for a FREE “Trading Places” Assessment. When prompted, use this code: EHA300408

If we could press a magic button that would instantly help you find the love of your life, we would push a button that would help you “trade places.” In other words, we’d help you put yourself in your partner’s shoes. We’d help you become a professional at empathy.

Why? Because it’s at the heart of every healthy relationship. And if you want to find the love of your life, you want to be sure your match is an expert at trading places. And we promise you this, the best way to find a partner who does just that is to be that kind of a catch. The more you practice empathy, the more you draw a fellow empathizer to you.

Wouldn’t it be terrific if trading places could be just that easy; if you could open it from a bottle and apply it to your relationship like some kind of ointment and instantly enjoy the relief and pleasure that comes from mutual empathy?

The Value of Trading Places

How much would you pay for it? It’s a moot question, of course. Empathy is not a tangible commodity you can pick up at a local drug store. But it is an invaluable asset. If it were sold in a retail outlet, we think it would probably be offered at only the finest of stores, and probably kept in a vault. Why? Because empathy is precious and rare. Its value is impossible to calculate.

Think of the rewards you’d reap in your relationship if you could, at any given moment, instantly apply a dose of mutual empathy to your interaction. Imagine how it would improve your ability to make decisions together, work as a team, overcome hardship, achieve goals and enjoy physical intimacy. In short, imagine how a ready measure of mutual empathy would elevate your happiness and forever join your spirits.

If you could both see the world from each other’s point of view, instantly and routinely, what would your relationship look like? In other words, what would you use your bottle of instant empathy to accomplish in your relationship?

Maybe you’d use it to enjoy more laughter and less bickering. Or maybe you would use your bottle of empathy to become more adept at reading one another, offering each other more care and comfort. You’d undoubtedly be more thoughtful. More protective. More considerate. More indulgent of each other’s quirks. Less judgmental and a lot more perceptive. You’d probably use instant empathy when we needed to lay down our pride and become more patient with each other. And when trying to muster the courage to apologize or ask forgiveness. You’d kiss more passionately. You’d smile at each other more often. In short, if you could instantly and routinely apply a dose of mutual empathy to our relationship whenever you chose, you’d have more love.

Make no mistake – empathy is the heart of love. No other practice can do more for your relationship and eventual marriage than empathy. Yet too many couples neglect it at their peril. Why? Because they’ve never learned the secret to putting it into practice. The secret is found in your head and your heart. Literally.

For more information on Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott and to get a copy of their new book, Trading Places, please visit: realrelationships.com

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