Romance is one of the most wonderful things about being with someone, but what if the guy you meet isn’t very romantic…or suddenly stops being especially attentive with his romantic gestures?
The first response women usually have is an almost uncontrollable urge to do what I call “lean forward” – that is, we then increase our affection for him, try to find out what’s wrong, and somehow try to “get” more attention out of him.
But I don’t have to tell you that this rarely works. A man feels his most romantic when he is showing you affection and attention because he WANTS to – not because he has to. Here’s how to get more of the good stuff from him…naturally.
OBSERVE HOW YOU EXPRESS AFFECTION.
First, I want you to observe what happens to you when you are sensing that your man is in some way pulling back – whether he’s creating distance, withholding affection, or just acting different.
Notice how you want to “lean forward.” Feel the urge to literally lunge in and make things right – to DO something to get things back to where they were before. Then STOP.
Really disengage your usual response to DO something, and instead I want you to focus on just BEING with your feelings. Are you reaching out to him because you want to elicit a response from him? Are you anxious that he might not have the same feelings for you anymore? Are you scared to lose him? Do you worry you did something to turn him off? Sit with these questions for a little bit.
START ROMANCING YOURSELF.
Now, I want you to do the opposite of “leaning forward.” I want you to lean into yourself by doing something that makes you feel good. Maybe it’s going into the next room and reading a book. Or talking a walk outside. Or taking a yoga class. Or cooking or going to get a cup of coffee. Whatever it is, SWITCH your focus from him to you by doing something you enjoy.
I also want you to get into the habit of doing romantic things for yourself every day: lighting candles when you get home, soaking in a bubbly bath, creating an inviting space while you work, filling your home with beautiful music, buying yourself flowers, scheduling time to take care of you.
This does several things: It “fills” you up so you don’t feel a desperate need to get romance from him. And when this happens, you INSTANTLY become more attractive to ALL men. Not only is the pressure off a man to “give” you romance, but he’ll become captivated by your ability to make yourself feel good – and, this is the kicker – the fact that you DON’T need him makes you VERY intriguing to him.
EXPRESS GRATITUDE WHEN HE IS ROMANTIC.
When you practice all this, get ready, because you’re going to have more romance coming at you than you know what to do with. When the romance comes, that’s when I want you to “lean back” and take it all in. Feel what it’s like to have so much attention – and enjoy it!
And here’s something very important – when he DOES give you the romance you want, melt into him. Don’t communicate resentfulness because he hasn’t been romantic or because he took so long to be this way. Simply accept what he’s giving you, let him see your joy, and THANK HIM for it. The more appreciative you are with a man, the more he’ll naturally WANT to show you love.
Rori developed simple, do-anywhere tools that specifically work to raise your self-esteem in a way that will dramatically improve the kind of men you attract and how you relate to them. To learn what they are, subscribe to her free e-newsletter. You’ll discover how to finally have the secure, lasting, passionate relationship with the man who is right for you…and how to make him fall more in love with you every day.