Conquering your Dating and Relationship Fears

by eHarmony Staff

Conquering your Dating and Relationship Fears

Okay, dating is not always easy or fun, but it’s time to conquer your fears and make things happen for yourself. This is your year!

It’s time to conquer your dating and relationship fears and make things happen for yourself. Dating or being in a relationship should be a fun and positive experience, not one that makes you anxious just thinking about it. If you fear rejection, intimacy, abandonment or commitment, you aren’t alone.

It’s normal at some point in your life to harbor these feelings and, in fact, once you accept and know what your fears are you can begin to deal with and conquer them to make this your best year yet.

1) Conquer your Fear of Rejection

The fear of rejection is a natural feeling for most people. You want to be loved, liked or even just wanted but if you let what other people think ruin your self-image it’s time to let go and start controlling your own happiness. If you were rejected you would feel disappointed and sad but these feelings would pass with time and you will move forward. Once you realize that you’ll recover if this were to happen, you finally free yourself to take a chance on finding love.

It’s also important to conquer your fears of rejection by not setting yourself up for failure. Don’t seek out people who are unavailable, try asking a friend to set you up on a blind date, start a new activity to meet other people and update or get your profile on an internet dating site to increase your chances of finding other singles.

2) Overcome your Fear of Intimacy

Don’t hide behind an emotional wall or barrier you’ve set up for yourself. If you have a hard time maintaining or starting a close relationship with your partner you may have a fear of intimacy. Most people aren’t actually afraid of intimacy they’re afraid of what happens if they get hurt or rejected. A relationship offers personal and emotional growth and takes practice. If you have a fear of intimacy you aren’t going to overcome it right away but if you’re honest with your feelings and ask your partner for help it can easily become a small hurdle you jump on your relationship path.

3) Defeat your Fear of Abandonment

Insecurity and fear of abandonment can ruin your relationship or prevent one from even starting. You don’t know what the future holds for your relationship; the best thing that you can do is to make your expectations clear from the beginning, address your fears and talk about differences or challenges with your partner while they are still small and manageable.

4) Beat your Fear of Commitment

Commitment is one of the most common fears people have because in committing to someone else you’re now accountable for their feelings and needs. Talk with your partner about your fears and ask for help to try and resolve them. In any relationship if you make a commitment to someone you risk the partnership ending at some point, but if you don’t trust your judgment in the other person and give the relationship a chance you may never be with someone and you’ll end up alone anyway. Why not take the opportunity to let go of your fear and commit to someone you feel a connection with?

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