8 Signs you Shouldn’t Be in a Long Distance Relationship

by eHarmony Staff

8 Signs you Shouldn't Be in a Long Distance Relationship

Everything about your mate is perfect—except the location. Dedicated couples can succeed no matter how many miles separate them but before you start dating read on for our list of the eight types of people who shouldn’t be in long distance relationships.

1) You are too Trusting

“If your friends and family would generally describe you as too trusting, then a long distance relationship may not be right for you,” say Chris Bell and Kate Brauer-Bell, authors of The Long-Distance Relationship Survival Guide. “Especially if the person you are considering dating long distance is someone you just met.”

The authors say this may seem like a contradiction, because trust is a basic cornerstone of any relationship, but when you are meeting someone for the first time online, you need to be sure that you are able to be objective and take a realistic look at whether or not he or she is being genuine with you and is presenting an honest picture of who they are. “If your friends and family have questioned your ability to judge someone’s character, then chances are, there’s a good reason.”

2) You Hate to Travel

There is only so far your relationship can grow through email and phone contact. At least a few times a year you are going to have to visit the other person. Even if he or she is willing to do the bulk of the traveling, you’ll want to reciprocate the effort.

3) You’ve Been Through a Series of Failed Long-Distance Romances

If a string of long distance relationships haven’t worked for you in the past, chances are, there is a reason why. Chris and Kate, who interviewed more than 100 couples in long-distance relationships, say it may be because you are too idealistic, setting your sites on the impossible or perhaps you’re looking for long-term commitment with people who are looking for an easy, no-commitment solution to dating. “When it comes to long-distance relationships, we recommend the baseball rule—three strikes and you’re out. Look for love on the local scene.”

4) You aren’t Technology Savvy and aren’t Willing to Learn

With technology there’s a variety of ways to keep in contact from email to webcams to instant messaging. If you don’t know how to use these forms of communication you’ll have to invest in taking the time to ask a friend for help or even ask for assistance at your local computer store to keep the relationship on track.

5) You aren’t Independent Enough

Independent people tend to thrive in long-distance relationships. “If you are someone who doesn’t know what to do with yourself on a Saturday night, and the thought of another lonely Saturday without a partner makes you feel empty inside, try looking locally,” say Chris and Kate, who married after their own long distance relationship. Remember that even a long-distance relationship with frequent travel will still leave long breaks between visits.

6) You Don’t like Talking on the Phone

Sure, emailing is great but between in-person visits you are going to have to pick up the phone. Long distance relationships take dedication; if you were living locally you might see your partner a few times a week. For most couples it’s going to take at least a couple phone calls a week to keep the relationship strong.

7) Relocation is Out of the Question

If you are looking for a lifetime commitment but can’t imagine ever relocating, long-distance relationships are not for you. “Don’t expect another person to jump at the chance to someday move to be closer to your job, your friends, your favorite places to hang out, if that’s not something you yourself would be willing to consider for the right person,” the authors say.

8) You aren’t Head over Heels for the Other Person

Unless you are completely sure you want a relationship with your partner it is a waste of time for both of you. A long distance relationship is difficult under even the best circumstances, let alone if you aren’t 100 percent committed to the person.

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