When you meet someone new – especially a man you like – your first impulse is to put your best foot forward, look as good as you can, and show him all the great things about you.
And that’s all fine. But let me let you in on a little secret: a man won’t fall in love with you because of how perfect you are. How good you look or what you say may help you connect with a man in the beginning. But it’s when you reveal the imperfect things about yourself that a man starts to really fall for you on a deeper, lasting level.
THE SECRET ATTRACTION INGREDIENT: VULNERABILITY
Think back to the moments when you really got close to someone – whether an old boyfriend, a friend, or even a family member. Chances are, you really connected with someone when you both revealed parts of you that were “imperfect.” I put imperfect in quotes because often what we think of as our imperfections are really just those things that makes us human.
For instance, when a casual acquaintance confesses to you that she has a terrible time meeting men and is starting to worry she’s not “cut out” for relationships, suddenly a wall drops. She is revealing a common fear that shows she’s human. You can relate to her. On top of that, she has taken a chance to share something with you that is personal. This is an indicator of trust – she is trusting you with her fears, her supposed imperfection. Suddenly, this casual acquaintance becomes a friend.
THE MORE YOU REVEAL, THE MORE YOU CONNECT
If you’re out with a man and you are always pretending that nothing bothers you, or you try to cover up your feelings so as not to “rock the boat”, you are trying to communicate to him that you are perfect.
But just think of some of your favorite movies. Why did you fall in love with certain characters in them? Did you love the ones who seemed to lead a perfect life, with perfect hair, and perfect families? No. Most likely, your heart melted when a character revealed parts of them that weren’t too pretty, or areas of their lives they struggled with, or particular challenges they faced – just like you.
LETTING HIM FALL IN LOVE WITH ALL OF YOU
Don’t be afraid to show your human, imperfect side to a man. Doing so makes him more comfortable in his own skin.
So drop your guard around him. Let him see you for all you are. If you’re afraid of roller coasters and he thinks a great day out is riding them at the theme park, don’t go along with it just so he’ll think you’re cool. Tell him you’re afraid. If he’s a suit-and-tie kind of guy and you like to play it casual, compromise on doing things you both like instead of just going along with whatever he says. Otherwise you’ll end up feeling resentful, and you’ll never know if he really gets you and all that you are.
When you’re not afraid to share all the parts of yourself with a man – the good, the bad, and the not so pretty – he’ll feel accepted and safe to be himself. When a man feels accepted as he is – with all of his “imperfections” – that’s when true intimacy develops, and he’ll never let you go.
Rori teaches women how to get in touch with their deepest emotions and use them in a powerful, effective way that is truly attractive to a man. To learn specific ways to share your emotions with a man and let him fall in love with the real you, subscribe to Rori’s free e-newsletter. You’ll discover how to finally have the relationship of your dreams with the man who can truly appreciate you for all that you are.