What Men and Women Want to Hear

by eHarmony Staff

One of the intriguing things about a relationship is figuring out the exact words that will woo him, wow her, and win his heart. Here are some suggestions for the men and women in your life…

“Yes.”

And we are not talking about the obvious "yes." Men want love too, and emotional intimacy, and the security that comes with committed partnership. And it all begins with a positive response from the woman he wants. “Yes, I noticed you too.” "Yes, here is my phone number." "Yes, I'd love to meet you for dinner." Both men and women love someone who is willing to try new things, go to new places and have a "yes" attitude in general.

"I'd rather be with you..."

...than do whatever it is that’s keeping you apart at the moment. Let’s face it, these days life moves at a crazy pace. The demands of work, family, friends—and even mundane tasks like grocery shopping—can consume every spare minute. It’s easy to let optional items, like time together, slip to the bottom of the “to do” list. But even when unavoidable things get in the way, your partner likes to hear that they are also important to you.

"Are you free Saturday night?"

Date nights are important - even if you have been together for years. A man also likes to be pursued as much as he likes to pursue, so don't be afraid to ask him out once in awhile, ladies. Don't ever stop carving out that quality time for each other.

“There’s something you do that I find adorable.”

When you notice—and love—something about your partner that isn’t obvious to world, it tells them you’re interested enough in them to pay attention to the small things. It also confirms the intimate nature of your relationship. Be aware of the cute, charming things they do that you find irresistible. Then tell them what you admire!

"That looks good on you."

This is not a revelation, but how many of us forget to acknowledge our loved ones when they are looking good? It is well understood that women appreciate positive feedback about their appearance—but so do men. He wants to look good...and often works hard to get there. How nice to be told sometimes that it’s working.

“You inspire me.”

Every woman would love to be a “muse” to the man she loves (or sees as a potential love interest). Has your relationship inspired you to be kinder? Consider new points of view? Open up and share yourself in new ways? Say something like, “Since I’ve known you, I’ve felt things I haven’t felt in a long time.” Or even something simple like “Life is better with you in it.” It’s no wonder so many people remember the classic line from the movie “As Good As It Gets,” when Jack Nicholson’s character told his love interest Helen Hunt, “You make me want to be a better man.” And no wonder he got the girl.

"You know what? You are right."

The ability to admit when we are wrong, and give credit to your partner when they are right, is BIG! It's not easy to put our ego's aside, but it's important to be able to do so, because a relationship is not about winning.

“I really like your friends [or kids or family members].”

Most women are communal creatures, and relationships are very important to them. So it means a lot when you say something wonderful about the people she loves. Tell her you think her dad is wise, or one of her kids is especially talented, or her close friend is fun to be with. By complimenting the people closest to your partner, you’re affirming them as well.

What do you love to hear from a partner? Share your thoughts below!

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