Here’s something you should know: most men are not averse to commitment, but they have to come to the decision on their own. Unfortunately, you can thwart a man’s desire for a long-term relationship with you if you try one of these three common “strategies.”
MISTAKE #1: TRYING TO “CONVINCE” HIM
Just like a pushy salesman trying to get you to buy a car, trying to convince a man that he should be in a relationship with you actually makes him want it LESS. Why? Because the convincing feels unnatural. He realizes that if a relationship with you was what he really wanted, there would be no convincing necessary. He would feel it on an emotional level, and his feelings would tell him all he needs to know.
MISTAKE #2: TRADING
If you start “withholding yourself” from a man when you don’t get the love and connection you want – or you only “give when you get” – you’re trading. Doing this not only keeps you from the very thing you want, but it also creates resentment and distrust inside a man’s mind, to the point where he won’t even want to give you what you tell him you want inside your “trading game” anymore.
You can’t win the trading game, and this isn’t how a man and a woman will grow closer and connect more if there was distance before. The reality is that a man will eventually stop trying to “win” your fickle affections altogether. Then you’re both left with nothing real holding you together.
MISTAKE #3: GIVING HIM AN ULTIMATUM
While giving your man an ultimatum will definitely get you an answer, when you put a guy on the spot like this, it usually won’t be the answer you want. Pressure does not change people’s feelings. Especially when it comes to a man’s often stubborn and unexplored emotions.
In fact, oftentimes HE doesn’t even know exactly what he’s feeling, because he hasn’t spent much, or any, time analyzing everything on an emotional level.
All of these approaches usually only succeed in pushing a man further away. In the rare case that one does work, the bottom line is that it’s a forced way to get what you want – which will bring you a short-lived result at best.
A QUICK LITTLE SECRET ABOUT MEN…
When it comes to women and relationships, in the beginning, most men think they want to have their cake, and eat it too. But every once in awhile, a man will meet a woman and know very quickly – without a shred of doubt – that he wants to be with her and only her. It feels right to him on a deep emotional level.
And here’s something else you should know: when this happens, the man will usually be the one to push for a long-term commitment. And you won’t have to do anything but keep being the great partner that you are and help him with the things he wants to do to keep you both close and together.
Understanding attraction and how it works is absolutely critical if you want to create a connected, lasting relationship with a man. To learn more about the kind of woman a great guy is attracted to for the long-term, subscribe to Christian’s free e-newsletter. He’ll tell you what makes a guy want to commit to you, and what you can do to get him there without any convincing or game playing.