How to Tell if She Wants a Kiss

by eHarmony Staff

How to Tell if She Wants a Kiss

The first kiss can force you into a tailspin of over-analysis, uncertainty and fear of rejection. Once you understand the secrets to smooching, scoring some mouth music will be a minor gamble rather than a major flip-out. If determining the right time for a first kiss is a challenge, follow some of these tested tips to determine your likelihood for affection.

Gauging the Graze

Her responses to your casual touching can speak volumes about her readiness to move forward. The casual sweeping of her shoulders as you help her with her coat, or her response when you brush against her hand in the popcorn bag or touch the small of her back as you guide her to the table provides plenty of clues. If she pulls away at all, then slow down a bit and take some more time. If she smiles, blushes or giggles, then it’s time to prolong your skin contact. Maybe a hand on hers at the dinner table or a steady arm when walking her to the car will be a comfortable next step toward sealing the smooch.

Hug It Out

One way to learn about how a woman feels about you is to assess the hug response. When saying hello or goodbye, keep the embrace short and look for nonverbal feedback. Does she linger a bit and press into you? If so, you might even be able to get the short first kiss in right then. If she seems a little put off—delivers the dreadful double pat on the back or the famed rigid arm hug—then you have a little more work to do in loosening her up and heading toward romance.

Enthusiasm Matters

If she’s interested, her eagerness will show. It’s generally those “in-between” times that will reveal her level of interest, clueing you in to how she feels about spending time with you. It’s generally in the lull between dinner and the movie or during the walk to the car that she has the best opportunity for reasons—or excuses—to end the date and go home. See if she is anxious to continue the date with you. Does she suggest the idea of coffee or a cocktail to extend the evening or is she looking for an opportunity to ditch you?

Asking for Action

A completely personal preference for women is whether they expect to be asked for permission to be kissed. To be on the safe side, you may be better off asking if you aren’t sure. It will be received as a sign that either you’re a respectful gentleman or you’re a wuss. Keep in mind that we’re talking about a simple display of affection. All you’re going to do is kiss her, and the sexiest way to do this is to be spontaneous. This means that if you want her to get excited, you’re going to have to kiss her without asking for permission. Besides, she can always give you the cheek if she’s not into it. As long as her vibe is welcoming and you don’t turn into a lecherous loser, she might appreciate your first move without hesitation.

Timing the Tenderness

Women notice and welcome the romance and timing of making a first kiss special. They love it when it’s memorable and positive but looks as if it happened spontaneously. Find a time when she’ll welcome some sugar but doesn’t necessarily expect it. A good rule to follow is to not plant the first kiss at a conventional moment when your date might be expecting – and guarding against – a lip lock. The end of the date is full of pressure as you stand at her door awkwardly commenting on how the date went, looking at your toes while fighting stomach butterflies and sweaty palms. Instead, pay attention to her cues and try kissing her earlier in the date or not at all.

The key to determining the right time to go in for the kiss is to pay attention to her hints. Not every date has to end with a smooch. Sometimes it’s better to take your time and work up to the passionate peck. The timing and strategy of kissing is not a science, but it will look that way if you are mechanical and rehearsed. When it finally happens, relax, have fun and enjoy one right in the smacker.

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