How to Detox Your Dating Life

By eHarmony Staff

How to Detox Your Dating Life

Here’s four ways to “cleanse” your outlook and get a fresh start.

If you were to conduct a self-diagnostic checkup on the condition of your dating life, which of the following would apply?

a. Strong and robust, with optimal functioning.

b. Generally healthy, though periodically sluggish and listless.

c. Anemic and frail.

d. Comatose.      

If you answered “C” or “D,” chances are you’ve been single for awhile now–and you’re suffering from overexposure to potent dating toxins that can reach dangerous levels if left untreated. The good news is that you’ve earned some well-deserved R&R in a professional dating detox clinic where trained romantic healers will soothe your disappointments, treat your lingering wounds, and prescribe tonics to wash away your self-destructive habits. If only such a place existed!

Alas, there are remedies you can use for yourself when you feel depleted and discouraged in your search for lasting love. Here is a four-step therapy guaranteed to flush the dating fatigue from your system and put you back in the game better than before:      

1. Purge.

It’s no use trying to start fresh if you’re still hanging on to what dragged you down in the first place. Unsuccessful dating attempts often leave behind a debris field of unfulfilled desires, unresolved grievances, and unyielding regrets. These are toxic to your emotional wellbeing, not to mention your chances for future success in matters of the heart. A critical step in the process of dating detox is learning to let go! Forget the past, and choose to move on. This isn’t meant to benefit those who have offended you—it will set you free by cleaning out everything holding you back from lasting love.      

2. Consume carefully.

The well-known phrase “you are what you eat” is true whether you are talking about deep-fried foods or half-baked beliefs. A regimen of dating detox must include monitoring your intake of words, thoughts, advice, and images related to romance. Stay away from “downer” friends who whine about how hard it is to find a decent man/woman. Tune out family members who complain about their lousy relationships. Watch only uplifting movies and listen to music that inspires optimism and hope. When you feel your mood beginning to sink toward self-pity, do something about it. Even small shifts in your “diet” can lead to dramatic positive changes.       

3. Rebuild.

Detox is not just about getting rid of unhealthy habits and emotions—but replacing them with ones more likely to get what you want. In this phase, begin by identifying the kind of partner you aspire to be. Are there qualities on the list you don’t yet possess? Make a plan to get there. Next, describe the person you are looking for in detail. This will help you recognize those people who don’t quite measure up—and save you another round of detox down the road.      

4. De-stress.

Health experts point out the negative impact of stress on the body’s natural detox system. Relationship experts point out the negative impact of placing too much stress on the dating process. Lots of people put tremendous pressure on themselves and their dates: “Did I do something to turn him off? Why haven’t I heard back yet? I’m a nervous wreck wondering what she thinks of me.” Lighten up! Having a relaxed, low-pressure approach to life and love makes for happy individuals—and happy individuals make happy, healthy romantic couples.   

Everyone needs a round of dating detox now and then. Treat yourself to a little tender loving care—and reinvigorate your search for romance.

 

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