Flirting 101 for the Ladies

by eHarmony Staff

Flirting 101 for the Ladies

Welcome to Flirting 101, your guide to charming any prince out there. Whether you’re a natural-born lash-batter interested in brushing up on your skills or a novice looking to cultivate your come-hither credentials, this is the time to embrace the fine art of flirting.

First, it’s important to acknowledge that flirting can happen anywhere, at any time, with anyone. From picking out produce (while picking up guys) at the grocery store to making casual conversation while standing in line for your latte to exchanging flirty glances at the dog park, you can—and should—flirt daily! After all, practice makes perfect, and to become a seasoned flirting pro you should practice often.

Second, it’s equally important to know that flirting doesn’t have to lead anywhere. You can routinely flirt with cute strangers and never give them your name or number. By flirting regularly, you allow yourself to hone your flirting style so that when you do meet someone you’re interested in, you’ll have all the right moves. The result? He’ll ask for your number in no time. Score!

Now that you’re down with the importance of flirting daily, here are some tips to help cultivate your individual flirting style:

Be yourself (and always be prepared)
To flirt with confidence, you don’t need to channel Marilyn Monroe. Instead, it’s important to be yourself—your smart, sweet, sexy self, that is! And because flirting can happen anytime and anywhere, a seasoned flirter takes her cue from the Boy Scouts and is always be prepared, not to mention looking her best. That doesn’t mean wearing tons of makeup to the gym or stilettos to the supermarket. No, to be the best version of yourself, you should follow this simple rule: Always leave the house with the appropriate amount of makeup, hair styling, and cute and comfortable clothing for the day ahead of you. That way, if you happen to spot a cute stranger while running your Saturday errands or on the way home from work in the evening, you’re armed and ready to get your fabulous flirt on!

Make the most of your flirting moves
When you do find someone you’d like to flirt with, it’s time to use your best flirting moves. These include making eye contact and then looking away, offering a shy inviting smile, and playing with your hair. If the object of your flirtation approaches, let him do the initial talking and respond with subtle enthusiasm and confidence. Continue to make eye contact and smile. If he says something funny, be sure to laugh. That’s a definite ego boost for any guy who’s brave enough to approach a cute girl! Be sure to give him the occasional compliment to encourage him. Finally, if you’re enjoying the flirt fest and would like him to continue and/or ask for your number, find a reason to touch your guy. If you’re talking and want to emphasize a point, squeeze his arm. If he says something particularly amusing, laugh and lightly touch his hand or leg. These simple flirting moves tell the object of your flirtation that you’re interested, giving him the green light to ask for your number.

Don’t try too hard
Flirting is a subtle sport, and one that should not be played too aggressively. That begins with your appearance. Don’t wear something too provocative (low cut, too tight, too short, too revealing). It sends the wrong message that you’re not so much flirty as you are, well, easy. That’s actually an important distinction to make—the difference between flirting and being overtly sexual. Flirting should be light, fun, and casual, whereas being overtly sexual entails using overly suggestive words and aggressive body language. Don’t make the mistake of trying too hard and being overtly sexual. Instead, relax, have fun, and be fabulously flirty!

Play the game (and play to win!)
Flirting is a game of cat and mouse. Just as you shouldn’t try too hard, you should also NOT do all of the work. Let the object of your flirtation pursue you, too. Make him work a little to get that pat on the arm and/or giggle. If your attention and affection come too easily, he’ll quickly lose interest. Remember, you’re a catch. Play the game by letting him try and catch you.

Leave him wanting more
Even if you’re having the time of your life, always, always, always, leave him wanting more. Cut the conversation or date short, using a variety of vague excuses that’ll make him wish he had just a few more minutes of your fabulous time. Excuse examples include:
“This has been fun, but I really have to go.”
“Look at the time. I should get going.”
“It’s been great talking to you, but I can’t stay any longer.”

By being just a little bit mysterious, your guy will go out of his way to try and see you again. If he hasn’t already, he’ll definitely ask for your number now that he feels you slipping away. And then it’s up to you whether or not you hand him your digits.

The key to flirting lies in practicing regularly, and making the most of your finely honed flirting moves. By becoming a seasoned pro, you greatly increase your chances of dating success because you’ve mastered the art of not only getting a guy’s attention but playing the game and leaving him wanting more. Soon you’ll be able to charm any prince who strikes your fancy. And in the meantime? Flirt away!

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