Five Reasons People Avoid You

In dating, just like baseball, slumps usually happen for a reason. Players often have unconscious habits that secretly work against them. In other words, the problem may lie in your attitude toward life and toward others. Little things add up to create a posture that positions you for success"”or not. Here are five characteristics that can ruin your game…

You are Too Negative

If you had to spend the rest of your life with one of the characters from A. A. Milne's Winnie-the-Pooh stories, chances are good that Eeyore would be at the bottom of your list. He's gloomy and pessimistic all the time. People like that stop being enjoyable company pretty fast. If you've got a "glass-half-empty" outlook on life, you may be your own worst enemy when it comes to dating.

You are Too Needy

Closely related to life's Eeyores are those who seem constantly in need of rescuing. People like this may have emotional deficiencies, causing them to be clingy, anxious, and insecure. Or they may live in perpetual crisis"”car trouble, work trouble, family trouble. A date with a person like this often turns out to be like slowing down on the highway to gawk at a car wreck. Everyone has fender benders to deal with in life, just keep them from dominating your relationships.

You are Too Bossy

Some people seem to believe that an opinion is a terrible thing to waste"”and forcefully share theirs on every subject under the sun. That may go over well at the debate club or on talk radio, but not so much with prospective partners. No one wants to be around a person who tells others what to do and what to think.

You are Too Passive

Believe it or not, it isn't much fun to watch someone sit on a couch and play video games. Or to simply "hang out" all the time with someone who never has an answer to the question, "What would you like to do?" To be interesting, it helps to be interested in more than passing the time. If someone is inert, inducing yawns from potential suitors, it's no wonder the phone doesn't ring more often.

You are Too Aloof

It usually comes as a shock to people to learn that others see them as arrogant and unapproachable. It rarely feels that way on the inside. But try seeing yourself as a stranger would. Do you hover at the edges of a room, or do you get in the thick of the action? Do you wait for others to initiate conversation, or do you show interest first by asking lots of questions? Do you project a vibe that says "Let's get acquainted" or one that says "Back off"?

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