Demystifying the Single Woman

by eHarmony Staff

Demystifying the Single Woman

Ever wonder what goes on inside the single woman’s mind when it comes to dating? It’s not as dark, mysterious, or scary as you might think. In fact, by getting to know what and how we think, you may just discover a thing or two that’ll make trying to date us easier. Then again…

 

We’re not all about looks, so you shouldn’t be either
While we appreciate the aesthetics of six-pack abs or bulging biceps, you don’t have to have them for us to consider you a catch. But just as we’re willing to accept you, you should accept us as we are. And even though we don’t look like Angelina Jolie, when you compliment us on our curves, calves, or killer smile, we kinda feel like her.

We like it when you make the first move (but if you don’t, we might)
We realize it’s hard for a guy to know when to approach us, especially when we’re out and about with our estrogen pack (or as we like to say, on a Girls’ Night Out). But when we separate ourselves from the herd, make eye contact, and smile, we’re giving you the go-ahead to approach. And if you don’t respond? If we’re feeling particularly confident and cute that night, we just might approach you. And when we do, give us a chance. After all, we’re going out on a limb. If you’re not interested, that’s perfectly fine, but let us down gently. We can handle rejection, but we’d appreciate a certain level of respect when being rejected. (Thanks!)

 

You don’t have to be a pickup artist to get our phone number
We know all about The Game, but did you know that you don’t need to employ pickup artist tactics to get our phone number? In fact, it’s pretty safe to say that by the time we graduate college, we’re no longer looking for some guy who’s got game. We’re smart, driven, independent, and fun-loving individuals with brains who’d much rather hear your most genuine How are you? over How you doin’? any day. (Honest!)

 

Material things don’t impress us
Unless you want to date a gold digger (and if so, good luck!), don’t try to show off on a date by flaunting your material possessions. Expensive cars, bling accessories, and a pocket full of cash just don’t impress us. We have our own money, our own homes, our own lives. If we’re worth your time, we’re not looking for someone to bankroll our lifestyle. Instead, what impresses us is kindness, consideration, and a sense of humor. Plus, when it comes to finances, we’d much rather date a guy who lives within his means and is planning for his future than someone who always has to have the latest gadget or ride but can’t seem to pay off his credit card.

 

Other games we hate
We don’t mind if you play video games recreationally, but if your Zelda obsession becomes 24/7, holds our living room hostage, or in any other way negatively affects our relationship with you, chances are good that we won’t stick around for long. And if you do by some chance find a cute, smart, funny girl who’s also a gamer? She may just be the Holy Grail. (Don’t screw it up.)

 

Honesty really is the best policy
If you want to feel the wrath of the single woman, lie to her. But trust us — you don’t want to do that. In fact, to get on our good side all you need to do is be honest. If you’re not going to call us, don’t say that you are. If we ask if you’re dating other people and you are, tell us. We’re big girls who would much rather hear you tell us the truth — even if it’s not what we want to hear — than be lied to and misled. (Besides, we just might be dating other people too.)

 

We don’t all have marriage and babies on the brain
Yes, we sometimes over-analyze everything you say. And yes, there are usually three days a month that we’re pretty bitchy. But believe it or not, we’re not all wired with wedding bells on the brain. In fact, a lot of women actually enjoy being single. So contrary to what you might currently think, we don’t spend our first dates picking out china patterns in our heads. We’re actually paying attention to you, listening and getting to know you to decide if you’re worthy of a second date. Go ahead, be worthy (or not). But most important, be yourself. That’ll make our decision easier.

 

So there you have it. A glimpse inside the single woman’s mind. Once you know what makes us tick, dating us is a snap. Or at least a little bit easier…

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