If you’re reentering the dating world as a senior — whether newly widowed, divorced, or just ready to finally settle down — there are a few things to consider when pursuing senior women.
Dating Senior Women Consideration #1: She’s nervous
For the senior woman who’s rejoining the dating scene after years of enjoying the single life or the stability of a relationship, meeting new gentlemen can be intimidating. Self-doubt and nerves are a more significant factor than they were in her youth. Anticipate this by putting her at ease as much as possible.
Choose a dating location that will make her feel safe. Arrange to meet her in a public space not far from where she lives. If the two of you met online, reassured safety is crucial. She may feel “too old for this.” Compliment her when appropriate, keep the tone of conversation light, and laugh. Acknowledge your own trepidations and embrace the dating adventure together.
Dating Senior Women Consideration #2: She’s independent
Many single senior women are looking for companions, not caregivers. They’re more than capable of taking care of themselves and making major life decisions solo. They lead rich lives filled with hobbies, their families and community involvement. Ask her about her life. Don’t bulldoze or overwhelm her by making assumptions about what she wants.
Dating Senior Women Consideration #3: She’s established
This applies to both senior men and women: change is not inevitable. Certain habits, vices and routines are now firmly established. In your first few dates with a senior woman, find ways to share your own quirks, preferences and nonnegotiables. You’re looking for someone who is compatible with you, not for someone who merely exhibits “potential” or who validates you. Don’t seek to change her or expect the possibility of major life adjustments. If your dream is to retire in Florida, bring this up early; she may have firm plans to enjoy her golden years elsewhere.
Dating Senior Women Consideration #4: She lives in the present
Fact: You both have a lot of life experience. Don’t get caught up in the reminiscing trap. Focus on the here and now. Get to know the women she is, not the life she once had. Don’t dwell on the negative, but if there are current health issues, don’t shy away from sharing pertinent knowledge. Avoid bitterness, pity parties and sob stories. What is she currently thankful for? What brings her joy? Adult children are often a consideration when dating in your senior years. They may have strong opinions about their mother’s dating life. Respect her desires regarding how children are introduced into your dating equation, but remember to honor her first as a woman, then as a mother.
Dating Senior Women Consideration #5: She’s still old-fashioned
While you’re both living in the present, certain old-fashioned values and expectations likely still prevail. Treat her like a lady, don’t rush physical affection, and take some initiative. A gentleman never goes out of style.