Body Language Do’s and Don’ts

By Rori Raye Author of best-selling eBook 'Have The Relationship You Want' and free newsletter

Body Language Do's and Don'ts

Did you know that your gestures and movements can either encourage romance and attraction in a man or boost his likelihood of thinking of you as a friend?  Learn to send your messages clearly with these body language do’s and don’ts.

When you’re finally ready to take your communications with a man offline and into the real world, you’re no longer just words on the screen to each other, and it’s natural to feel nervous.  Suddenly, body language becomes very important.  He’s getting a whole picture of you, so you want to make sure you make the best impression. 

Picture this: you’re getting ready to meet one of your matches.  You’re thinking very carefully about what you want to say – you want to be interesting and find subtle ways to engage him in deep conversation.  That’s all good, but how you move and carry yourself in his presence sends a very strong message without you having to say anything at all.

Men are attracted to the softness in us women.  When we fully embrace our femininity, this is very attractive to a man and encourages him to take the masculine role to lead the relationship forward.  This is where body language really comes into play.  So the next time you’re getting ready for that all-important first meeting, remember these body language do’s and don’t’s for sparking a romantic feeling of attraction in him:

Don’t: Lean Forward

When you lean forward toward a man while you’re sitting or standing, it can feel masculine and aggressive to him. To counteract this, simply lean back. Just tilt your body backwards when you’re around a man, and see what happens. When you’re sitting in a chair, don’t lean forward when you’re having a conversation. Lean back. If you’re standing across from a man, put one foot behind the other and shift your weight so that you’re leaning away, not toward him.

Rori’s note: There is a subtle energy exchange that happens between a man and a woman when they interact. This is where learning back comes into play – by relaxing your body and “opening” it, you are signaling your affinity towards him and openness to his approach.  In this way, we can say that a woman makes the first move by making it possible for a man to make his.

Do: Relax Your Hands

When people manage and multi-task, their hands get very tight. So do their shoulders and arms. Have you ever caught yourself balling your hands into a tight fist when you’re speaking with a man? This kind of body language feels tense and harsh.

Instead, practice letting your wrists go limp and opening your palms. Move your hands in front of your body and imagine they have no bones at all in them. If you’re holding a glass or a fork, notice how tightly you’re gripping, and allow your hands to soften. This small change will make you feel soft, feminine and calmer. It will force you to slow down and drop tension off your body.

Don’t: Have Tall Shoulders

When we’re nervous or uneasy, we tend to tense the area around our neck and shoulders.  Do a check-in with your body right now, but especially when you’re on a date.  Chances are your shoulders will have been creeping up toward your ears, and you probably didn’t even notice.

To a man, this looks like you’re ready to pounce. It reminds him of his own tension, and he doesn’t want to feel that in you. On the contrary, what men love about us women is our ability to be soft and in touch with our feelings.  He wants to feel relaxed around you, especially if he’s a man with a lot of stress from his job.  He wants to see you as his oasis.  Keep a watch on where your shoulders are and consciously practice relaxing them and letting them fall.

Do: Step Back

If you feel a man pull back or lean away, it’s not enough to just lean back. Actually take a step backward. A man will sense the open space, and he will intuitively feel the need to move closer to you without any control on your part.

Surprisingly, this will also make you feel more confident and in control of the signals you’re sending.  By allowing yourself to move away from him, you’re signaling an ease and nonchalance, and the ball is now in his court to move closer or not.

If you soften your body language in these ways, he’ll feel compelled to be around you and get to know you.  He will feel more affectionate and romantic toward you.

Remember, even if you don’t get butterflies in your stomach when you first meet, it’s always in your best interest to make the most of every date.  Listen to this man.  See what lessons you can learn.  He has been placed in your path for a reason.  In fact, I like to think of dating as free therapy – you get to figure out more about what you want from a relationship with every man you meet.

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Even the smallest shifts in your movements and gestures can make a big difference in the way a man responds to you.  To learn more about how to do this so that a man will feel inspired to pursue you, subscribe to Rori’s free e-newsletter.  You’ll learn specific words and body language that you can use to magnetically attract a man from the very first moments you meet all the way through getting the commitment you want.

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