In an effort to get to know your date, you turn the conversation to him or her, firing off seemingly innocuous questions. Or are they? Surprisingly, some people don’t know the difference between appropriate dinner conversation and what should be left for, well…never.
There are many questions that can flit through one’s mind on a first date, but whether or not they should make the journey from your brain to your mouth is debatable.
So if you’re hoping to get to date number two – or out of date number one alive – here are 5 things it’s NOT okay to ask over dessert…
1) “So, What’s your Wedding Timeline?”
If we can declare a dating rule right now, it’s that you should try to keep the tone light during the first few months of courtship. Asking about wedding timeframes, life plans and relationship roadmaps on the first date puts too much pressure on the other person, and frankly, that’s pretty personal stuff to share with a virtual stranger.
There are plenty of other ways to figure out whether or not your date is serious about settling down without asking them straight out. Assess their lifestyle. Does he or she have a steady job? Have they been in the area a long time or do they move from place to place? A person who’s ready to settle down is usually pretty settled in the first place.
2) “How Old are You?”
Confronted once again with endless images of airbrushed perfection, you can easily forget that real people really age. Not everyone races for the Botox and hair dye at the first sign of a few wrinkles and gray hair; instead, many prefer to embrace the passing of time and consider each crease a testament to the lives they’ve lived.
3) “What are you into…in the Bedroom?”
Asking intimate questions about a veritable stranger’s sex life on the first date is far too forward. If you want someone to open up to you, the person needs to feel comfortable with you, and first dates are rarely THAT comfortable. A person’s sexual desires and needs are deeply intimate; come across too brash and you’ll seem bullish and intrusive…and possibly just plain perverted too.
4) “Can I Borrow $1,000?”
It’s one thing not carrying enough cash with you for dinner, but a whole other story if you start treating your new date as a loan service. While not everyone’s looking to bag him- or herself a millionaire, people are still attracted to those who at least appear to be capable of looking after themselves. If you come across like a mooch looking to convert your new beau into a retirement plan, then you’re unlikely to make it to date two.
5) “Where have you Been all my Life?”
Hopefully you’ll find your date both fascinating and desirable, and fleetingly it may even flit through your mind that he or she could be “the one.” This is all very good news: however, try not to blurt it out before the waiter’s brought water to the table. Most of us take a little longer than a nanosecond to realize we’ve found our one true love: if you’ve fast-tracked the process, make sure to give your date a little time to catch up.
On the flip side, here are 15 great first date questions.
Living in the UK? Read our first date advice for UK singles now!