There’s an old joke about a wife who nags her husband, “Tell me how you feel.” Finally, the husband blurts, “I feel…I feel…like watching television.”
The truth is, most men have no idea how they feel at any given time. Studies show that men use language to establish difference, separateness and independence (exactly the opposite of women, who talk to connect).
Here are the answers and explanations to his biggest verbal ‘Huhs?’ (you’ll be speaking like a native in no time). Take the cues from the following sections, so that you and your man can finally understand each other:
What He Says When You’re Dating
A slew of research has established that men and women use language in different ways. For women, talk is the glue that holds relationships together. To men, conversation is a means, not an end. They don’t even like talking to each other that much — two guys can watch a game in silence for four hours and walk away feeling they’ve bonded. Here’s how to make sense of the favorite phrases he uses for different stages of your union:
He says: So maybe we could get together or something?
He means: I think you’re really hot and want to ask you out, but I’m too chicken to say so.
He says: Nothing about seeing you again.
He means: His mojo wasn’t rising.
He says: Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.
He means: God, I know you want to talk about my day and all my interrelationships with my colleagues and boss and the guy who drives my bus, but I am at home now and I just want to zone out.
He says: Maybe we need to slow down.
He means: Maybe you need to slow down.
He says: I don’t know what I want.
He means: I don’t want you.
He says: I need some space.
He means: I’m about this close to dumping you but I haven’t worked up the nerve yet.
He says: You’re a really good person.
He means: You’ll never see him again.
He says: Let’s be friends.
He means: You’re not my type, but could you set me up with your hot friend?
He says: We’re dating.
He means: We’ve spent at least five nights together, at least one of which has ended in sexual contact. But in no way are we exclusive.
He says: We’re seeing each other.
He means: It’s down to you and one other woman.
What He Says When He’s Serious
He says: I really like you.
He means: I think I am falling in love but if I say that word, there is no going back.
He says (in the middle of a date): It’ll be great to show you the house I grew up in (or anything else that smacks of the future).
He means: See above.
He says: You’re an amazing woman.
He means: You’re an amazing woman.
He says: I love you.
He means: You make me incredibly happy whenever we are together. I think you may be The One.
He says: I think we should date exclusively.
He means: I’m scared that if I don’t make things more permanent, you’ll date someone else.
What He Hears When You Speak
Men don’t always hear everything you’re saying, which means he’s not always getting your message.
You say (after being introduced): Do you know this band?
He hears: I want you now.
You say: What do you do?
He hears: Are you making enough money to make you marriage material?
You say: My ex is a crazy stalker who won’t stop calling me. He scares me.
He hears: I’m still in love with my ex.
You say: What are we doing Saturday night?
He hears: I want all your time for the rest of your life.