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What ‘The Office’ Has Taught Us About Love

By eHarmony Staff


Michael Scott has moved on, but we haven’t. ‘The Office’ is still a great place to find laughs — and valuable love lessons.

Be yourself.

Hold out for someone who respects and adores you. Viewers quickly saw that Michael Scott was a loveable, genuine guy, constantly faltering in the love department. While girlfriend Jan showed disdain and disrespect for Michael, carrying over her status at work to their private life, Holly brought out the best in him and appreciated his quirks, odd sense of humor, and value system. Audiences cheered Michael on as he proposed to the woman who clearly loved him for who he was.

Love lesson learned: Be genuine and patient. You’re more awesome than you think you are.

Keep conflict private.

‘The Office’ featured one of the most uncomfortable on-TV dinner parties ever, during which Jan and Michael allowed their relationship tension to escalate into a full-on fight in front of their guests. Their loud shouting culminated with a visit from police officers responding to a domestic disturbance call. If you have unresolved issues, deal with them respectfully and in private. Don’t put your friends in uncomfortable situations or disrespect one another in front of work colleagues.

Love lesson learned: Resolve conflict appropriately — and never throw things at your partner’s plasma TV.

Don’t ignore red flags.

It can be easy to ignore red flags when they’re seemingly small. Viewers could see that Pam was headed to unhappily ever after during her never-ending engagement to Roy; he checked out other women and exhibited controlling behavior. Fortunately for her, the relationship ended before she got trapped in a miserable marriage.

Likewise, Michael cut Jan too much slack when she made him sleep on a small bench because of her “space issues,” not realizing that her dominance at home was evidence that she didn’t respect him or consider him her equal.

If you (or someone close to you) can identify unhealthy elements in your relationship, take them seriously. Pam listened to her cold feet and said no to Roy — and ended up with Jim, someone who treated her with respect.

Love lesson learned: Pay attention to the uncomfortable details.

Don’t come on too strong, but don’t shy away either.

Michael blew his chances with Carol when he Photoshopped his face over Carol’s ex-husband’s in a family photo. In complete contrast, Andy consistently missed out on opportunities to pursue Erin because of his cowardly approach.

If you must adopt a dating approach from a character from ‘The Office’, look to Jim who patiently waited for Pam, then made clear and intentional moves when the time was right.

Love lesson learned: Make your intentions clear — but stay away from PhotoShop.

Sometimes “friends first” works.

“Friends first” might sound like the boring route to romance, but it worked for’ The Office’’s most reliably loveable and healthy couple, Jim and Pam. By the time they started dating, they already knew they were a good fit. They appreciated the same things, shared a sense of humor, and cared a great deal for one another. For Pam, as someone coming out of an unhealthy relationship, knowing Jim so intimately in a platonic context built a foundation of trust that led to eventual love, marriage and motherhood.

Love lesson learned: Don’t be afraid to let friendship blossom into love.


‘The Office’ returns to NBC  September 20th.

Images courtesy: NBC

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