Ask the Experts: What Makes a Man Fall in Love?

By Managing Editor Jeannie Assimos

What makes a man fall completely head over heels in love? Is it timing, certain qualities he’s looking for, or basic chemistry? We posed this frequently-asked question to a variety of well-rounded experts. Here’s what they had to say…

Why Does He Fall for One Woman Over Another?

"He has to be 'captivated' by the total package of her...her personality, her brain, her body, her smell, her unknowable, mysterious allure...his brain has to feel he can't live without her...that she must be a part of his future!"

Louann Brizendine, M.D., author of The Male Brain

He Feels Like He Can Make Her Happy

"Ultimately what men and women want is the same -- they want to feel connected, they want to feel attraction, and to experience passion. A man is looking for a woman with a smile. Men bond with women when men feel successful in making them happy. A woman needs to focus less on making her man happy -- and focus more on how he makes her happy."

John Gray, Ph.D., author of the Mars Venus Book series

It's All Part of the Journey

"Falling in love feels like an accidental occurrence to many people, but in spiritual terms it is not -- it is the entrance point to love's eternal journey."

Deepak Chopra, M.D. and author of the new book Spiritual Solutions: Answers to Life's Greatest Challenges

The Way He Feels Around Her

"A man falls in love when he feels like he could be a super hero with you in his life. When he feels accepted, appreciated and understood, and knows he can make you happy...he will be yours. Oh...and throw in that he thinks you're hot!"

Relationship Coach Bobbi Palmer, Date Like a Grownup

When She's Open to Love

"A man will fall in love when you give off the signals that you are truly looking for -- and ready for -- lasting love. The cues you give off are everywhere: Do you allow yourself to be vulnerable and really let him see who you are? Are you confident in your sense of self? Do you know what you want from life and where you are headed? Another key element in showing you're ready for love is having a strong sense of respect, both for yourself and for him. Men want to know that you think they are worthy of love. They also need to see that you know you are deserving of love. Men will fall in love with someone who is open, receptive, and ready to be loved."

Dr. Shannon Kolakowski, Licensed Psychologist and Author

She's the Total Package

"The answer doesn’t sound sexy, but a man falls in love when his feelings for a woman reach a critical mass. He spends time with her and he sees that she is kind, loving, affectionate, loyal, fun, sexy, and of a positive spirit in quantities that reach a certain weight. One day he thinks, 'Wow, I love this woman.' He may not know why, but his mind/heart have taken a look at her in an in-depth way."

Grant Langston, Sr. Director, eHarmony

She Says Yes to the Game of Life

"Finding a person who fits into his life without huge disruptions is important. Men may like to ogle high-maintenance women, but they're not the women they marry. A willingness to say, 'Yes, I'll try that' -- whether it's trying exotic food he likes, sports he plays, places he wants to go -- makes a man fall hard. It's not to say that you have to love everything he loves...but at least you're willing to try!"

Cathleya Schroeckenstein, Editor-in-Chief, Weddingbee

Like Attracts Like

"Attraction, compatibility, and that magical spark that makes you think someone was made just for you."

Erina Lee, Senior Research Scientist, eHarmony

There's Purpose and Passion

"No other emotion seems more mysterious than love. At it's core, falling in love is driven by our desire for happiness. It's often sparked by physical attraction; it lasts with deep points of connection that leave him feeling purposeful, fulfilled, attractive, energized and...loved."

Executive and Life Coach Barbara Waxman

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