Following a very painful and protracted divorce from my husband of nearly 25 years, I found myself suddenly single again at age 53. Way too young for the “retirement home” and far too wise for the local bar scene, I finally relented to the constant prodding of a dear friend and registered on eHarmony in mid-April 2007.
I had read Dr. Warren’s book “Date or Soul Mate” several times and found the Personality Profiling to be in-depth and soundly based in human psychology. However, I was still skeptical about “paying” for a dating service and a bit wary about what kind of “nuts” might be out there. Telling myself I was being silly, I took the plunge and signed up for three months.
[object=ad_300x250_articles]The sheer number of possible matches eHarmony provided was heartening; unfortunately, too many of these fellows expressed more interest in riding their Harleys or watching NASCAR racing for my taste and I systematically eliminated them from the running.
During the course of my three-month subscription, I did enter into Open Communication with three different gentlemen, but while our exchanges were of a friendly nature, I simply did not feel any real “click.” Then, on July 14th, a new possible match was delivered: Thomas from Keedysville, Maryland. Within the next few days, we progressed through Guided Communication steps — including the dreaded “Must Haves” and “Can’t Stands” — and entered into Open Communication immediately afterward.
The emails flew back and forth for the next three weeks, keeping both of us on our computers into the wee hours of the morning. We soon felt comfortable enough to exchange phone numbers and had our first telephone conversation on August 3rd. By then, we already knew we had a lot in common — both of us had been in long-term marriages which ended badly; we both love animals (although my horses are a lot larger than Tom’s cats), share a fondness for travel and a mutual disdain for television. Most importantly, we found we shared a similar spirituality. On Wednesday, August 29, 2007 I enjoyed my first “date” in 30 years.
Tom and I met for an early dinner at the Liberty Road Seafood House in Frederick County, Maryland. We arrived within minutes of each other and my first thought was “he even drives the same car as I do!” (both small SUVs). As he got out of his car, I said to myself “…and there is Tom.” Because he had sent me a few photos of himself and because of all the emails and phone conversations we had already shared, I felt quite at ease; like I already knew him.
We sent the waitress away after ordering iced tea; we just wanted to talk awhile. Four hours later, after sharing steamed shrimp and excellent cream of crab soup, our waitress commented “You two must not have seen each other for a very long time. You seem to have so much to talk about!” I know I blushed when Tom turned to her and said, “Actually, this is the first time we have ever met.” He went on to explain to her how we had been matched up by eHarmony and she was clearly tickled by the story. An hour later, the restaurant was closing.
On the drive home, my head was spinning — I could not believe I had just spent FIVE HOURS talking and sharing so freely and comfortably with someone I had just met for the first time. The evening had been the most fun I had in at least two years, but I had no idea where it would lead. The next morning, I woke to the sound of my telephone ringing. Not being an early riser, I had decided to let the machine pick up, but when I heard Tom’s voice, I literally jumped out of bed and ran down the hall to answer it. We made plans to get together again on Saturday — Tom asked if I would like to go flying with him — and I answered a resounding “Yes!” That evening, he piloted a Cessna 182 over both of our homes and I was fascinated with how neat and orderly everything looks from 1,000 feet in the air.
<split>Two weeks later, I was convinced that I had been waiting my whole life to this wonderful man. As we spent more and more time together, we both came to understand that while the connection between us is a gift from God, we would never have met were it not for eHarmony. Tom and I are living proof that there is life after divorce — and that there is plenty of life after age 50! Thank you again, eHarmony!
Kathi and I were matched on Saturday, July 14, 2007; worked our way through the questions and answers and then went into Open Communication. I was amazed that Kathi wrote from her heart about herself and her life and seemed to find our communications interesting. We finally exchanged email addresses and phone numbers and began having even more meaningful conversations over the next few weeks. We finally decided to meet for dinner on August 29th at Liberty Road Seafood Restaurant which was about equal distance from each of our homes.
Kathi had arrived a few minutes before I did, so when I got there she met me in the parking lot and recognized me from the photos I had sent to her. We got a table and then sat there for over five hours talking and getting to know each other better. I found Kathi to be the kind of woman I could really talk to about my feelings, my life to this point and the joys and heartbreaks of my past.
We are both divorced and we talked at length about what we had each discovered within ourselves and why our marriages didn’t work out. We shared our beliefs about what it means to be in a relationship and what we each were looking for in terms of the future. Each of us had come to this dinner with the intent of just meeting someone new to talk to, but as we got to know each other better that evening, there was a connection growing between us that was unmistakable.
Looking into Kathi’s eyes and seeing her look into mine as we talked — well, something was definitely clicking. When the restaurant was closing for the night, we bade each other farewell and left for our respective homes. All I could think of during my drive home was that I knew something special was happening. The next morning, I called Kathi to let her know how much I had enjoyed our date and asked if she would be interested in getting together again on Saturday.
This time, we went flying (I was working as a pilot for a local charter company) and then had an al fresco dinner at a local Italian restaurant. We talked a lot more and were getting on so well, it was apparent that we were going to be seeing a lot of each other. After seeing each other exclusively for three months, the connection of our hearts and souls continued to amaze us. Each of us feels as if the empty place in our hearts is being filled — like the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle being put into place. During the first three weeks of our budding relationship, we would often just sit for hours and look at each other in wonder at the growing feelings we had for each other. We have many common interests and we respect our differences, as well.
But most importantly, we completely accept each other for who we are. The communication we have continues to grow and deepen with our time together. I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. Kathi and I would have never met were it not for eHarmony. A big thumbs up to Dr. Warren, for his knowledge, interest and ability to help people find the right partner for a happy, healthy relationship! Thank you, Dr. Warren and eHarmony.