Having had my marriage of 34 years dissolve not of my choice and dealing with all of the 5 stages of the crisis that is divorce, I came to know myself and who I was and what I wanted in my life. One major thing I knew was that I wanted to go through life not as a single person, but to LIVE life with a partner, friend, and eventually a lover.
My problem was how to go about finding that person. At 57 years of age, the bar scene was hit and mostly miss and dating co-workers, friends, and blind dates set up by family and friends was going nowhere.
A very close friend recommended eHarmony as he was also using the site service to meet quality women. Completely on a lark, I clicked on the site, set up my profile and honestly described myself and what I wanted. Within days I began to get matches from women who fit the profile of what I had described. After a number of match “conversations” and what I called 5 minute dates, meetings with “options” for an additional 5 minutes etc, I met 5 very interesting quality women. However, those women were not “the” woman I was searching for.
I was intrigued by a match I received from Connie from across the river. I will have to say that her picture really peaked my interest. I can’t say why, but her attractiveness and “look” struck me. We conversed through the eHarmony format, but not in the way that questions and answers came from the choices in the format. We mutually chose to ask, write, and respond to specific questions that came from our minds and hearts and really got to the heart of the matter. After two weeks of “conversing”, we went to open communication through our own email addresses and felt comfortable enough to exchange phone numbers. One afternoon in my office I got a call on my cell that looked familiar but could not readily recognize. Then I realized it was Connie calling me. We spoke for about 30 minutes and I promised I would be the one to call next time.
After I called, we set up a dinner date for July 17th at a restaurant that we were both familiar with. I can’t adequately describe the excitement I felt waiting for Connie to come through the door! We greeted, hugged, and had a wonderful dinner, although we didn’t eat much as we were too busy talking to and about each other. Things felt absolutely “right” with her. We laughed and thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company and went for a walk through the antique shop section of Louisville Highlands. We parted 5 hours later exhilarated by the experience.
We emailed each other the minute we arrived at our homes, almost at the same time, thanking each other for the great evening.
I did not call Connie the next day or the day after, but we emailed through those days. I jokingly expressed that I didn’t want to violate the “three day rule” of calling after the first date on one email. Right after that, Connie called and questioned the “rule” and asked whether that was part of the eHarmony format. We both laughed and talked further.
The following weekend I asked Connie to join me to visit a show at one of the museums to see an exhibit. Although she said she had already seen the exhibit, she said she would be delighted to go. The museum was where I began to fall for this woman!
Our dating continued and turned into a committed relationship in September. We have been like two teenagers in love since that time. We both share so much in our interest in the arts, music, theater and books and travel and have spend wonderful trips to Bermuda, Las Vegas, Florida, and Chicago.
I gave Connie THE ring two weeks before Christmas. The ring was hidden in a box of ice cream which we both love. She didn’t want the ice cream at the moment, but I insisted. She told me to “do the honors” and scoop the ice cream into the bowls, but I asked her to do the job. As she turned her back to “scoop”, I knelt down on one knee behind her and when she turned around with the ring, I asked her to marry me! As a hint, ice cream is very good for a relationship!!
Connie and I can only say THANK YOU to eHarmony, its format and program and sense of security and confidence and comfort. Without eHarmony Connie and I never would have met and certainly would not be looking forward to July 17, 2009 and beyond and our lives together.
Thank you eHarmony!