James and I first contacted each other through eHarmony on April 30th 2008. I will never forget that day because it was the beginning of me actually living my life versus just trying to make it through each day. I was a full time working mother of two amazing little guys living in Florida.
My days began at 5:30 in the morning and usually ended with me collapsing into bed around 10:30; just to get up and do it all over again the next morning. I had barely managed to keep our little family together despite having to sell most of what I owned, having to move to a new town to find better employment, and having to move in with my best friend and her family for 6 months to save up enough money to get us back on our feet. I was so busy, yet so grateful for my new job, our new home, and our new life that I wasn’t even really thinking about meeting anyone…let alone having the time or energy for anyone else.
In addition to that, I tended to believe that our life wasn’t something most men would want to be a part of and thus never allowed myself to believe that the man I always imagined falling in love with ever existed. There was one further obstacle preventing me from truly opening up to trusting in another..my son Andrew.
My oldest son Andrew was born with a very rare genetic abnormality that left him severely mentally and physically disabled. Our life together was structured, limited by our lack of resources to help me care for him, and made even more demanding by the addition of his energetic and high volume little brother Christopher. While he is the miracle of my life, his care is constant, doesn’t allow for a lot of spontaneity, and requires an amazing kind of love and attention that most people don’t understand. So, I not only needed a partner who fed my soul, made me laugh, shared my interests, and inspired me intellectually and spiritually, I was also looking for someone who provided a solid foundation for me to be able to trust to handle everything I normally had to do on my own. Not too much to ask of anyone besides a superhero! So, believing I would ever met that human being was a little difficult.
However, everyone can dream so I finally broke down and signed up for a trial period on eHarmony.com. I really only wanted to see who else was out there in this big world of ours and possibly find someone to talk to. I never imagined I would meet my superhero! After about 2 of the 3 month period trial I had not found what I was looking for and was just going to let the trial end when I received James initial contact. It seemed that my job as a scientist piqued his interest. Initially, we found that while we led completely different lives we had a surprising amount in common, we had the same sense of humor, we enjoyed talking about science, politics, religion, books, life…just about everything! We were emailing each other up until 2 or 3 in the morning! James is a Staff Sergeant Tank Commander in the U.S. Army, stationed in Georgia. James enlisted in the Army right after 911, wanting to help our country and ensure that he brought the men and women he served with overseas home with him when he returned. He had just come home from his third deployment and was facing some of the same issues I was. The most difficult one was trying to find someone, honorable and strong, to share your life with when you believe you might be asking too much in return due to your circumstances. James also has a daughter and understands the responsibility of being a parent and providing a loving, nurturing environment for family.
After 2 weeks we were talking on the phone versus emailing, and shortly afterward we met in person. While the initial meeting may have been awkward, our honesty over the phone and email prevailed, and soon we were as comfortable in person as we’d been communicating all along. James came to visit every weekend spending time with the boys and I. Although I remember being shocked initially when he asked me to marry him, because everything happened so quickly, I also knew that nothing in my life had felt more right. I’d waited a long time to find someone that not only made me happy, but supported me growing as a person, and makes me want to be the best version of myself that I can imagine. January 19th 2009 our family will be complete as we exchange vows with our friends and family. I am grateful everyday to have him and am grateful to eHarmony for matching us, two people that were meant to be together, but might never have found each other. We are constantly reminding each other that we don’t know what we’ve done to deserve our happiness, and are looking forward to spending the rest of our lives making each other happy.