Mal and I met on Feb. 11, 2006 after him being the 1st man I had met on eHarmony. I had come out of a terrible relationship and swore I was done with men. I didn’t want to get hurt again. My great group of girlfriends were concerned about me and one of them told me to try eHarmony. I was very much against anything on the computer, for that is how I had met the last one, and I wasn’t going for it. She told me to just check out the profile application and see what I thought.
One night, with nothing better to do, I looked at it and started filling it out. I found it very enlightening; I learned a lot about myself just answering those questions. I was surprised at how involved it got, but I was glad that it was as structured and secure as it was. Then I told my friend that I couldn’t afford it at the time. She said she would pay half…she was very pushy!!! She knew I was going to try every excuse I could find not to do this! So I submitted my profile( I am not sure you call it a profile but I can’t think of the correct word right now) and a few hours later I had 2 matches. I started communicating with the 1st one (he started it) and a few days later it stopped for whatever reason. So I thought, ok, what the heck, and I started communication with Malcolm. We went by the book of eHarmony, went step by step, and eventually planned to meet.
I had my daughter and a friend as my 2 contact people to keep tabs on me when I went to meet him. I swore I wouldn’t sway from the plans I told them….big mistake!!! But I did keep in touch with them and they kept saying, you are breaking the rules!!! We met at a place and sat there for 2 hours just talking. We didn’t eat because it was a very pricey place (neither of us knew that!) It was at a high end mall, so we walked around the mall for a few more hours talking! Then we got hungry and we drove, separately of course, to place I had passed on the way there and had dinner. Now it has been about a 6 hour meeting instead of the recommended time!
After dinner we were walking to ours cars and he said “I don’t want to go home” So we then again drove separately to a movie theatre and saw a goofy vampire movie!!! I don’t know why because we just sat there holding hands and not talking but it was great. He asked me to call him when I got home to let him know I was safe and we talked for a few more hours! The next day we met again at a sports place to watch a Pistons basketball game, he had brought me a rose because Valentines days was 2 days later and he said he didn’t think he would see me that day…..I was hooked. Since that day we have not gone one without talking to each other, sometimes for hours at a time on the phone at night. In Oct of 2007 Malcolm was diagnosed with cancer, it was at the base of his tongue. He has no family here in this state so me and my family took care of him thru the treatment. He had surgery on his neck and a trachea was inserted to help him breath. He was in horrible pain thru the 7 weeks of radiation and long after that too, but it was not hard to care for someone I loved so much.
We became engaged in Dec of that same year and people kept asking when we were getting married. I had been divorced for almost 20 yrs (Mal even longer than that) and he would just tell them that as soon as I get the license he would marry me. I thought he was joking of course and never really thought to look into getting a license. One day he told me to Google it and low and behold, I could print up and application right there at home! So we filled it out and I was telling my boss (who is also a close friend)about it and she informed me that she was now an ordained reverend and she could marry us if we wanted.
I have 2 grown children and Malcolm does not have any at all. My kids adore him! We arranged to get married, we wanted to do it just by ourselves, very private and intimate and surprise everyone by telling them afterwards.. But we were then informed that we had to have 2 witnesses, so of course those had to be my kids and my son in law. We wanted to keep it secret until it was time so I told the kids we were taking then all out for dinner and to meet at my daughters and then follow us to the place.
They knew something was up and started videotaping before we showed up at their home, and then they taped us driving in front of them and the three of them talking trying to figure out where we were going. It was all very fun and special. I have pictures of me in the neighbor’s garden, with permission of course, picking flowers to make my own bouquet. And it turned out great! It was the very first wedding my friend had performed which made it even more special for all of us.
Shortly before the wedding, Malcolm was given a clean bill of health after the treatment. A month later, my daughter gave birth to a beautiful redheaded little boy who is the first grandchild for me and also for Grandpa Malcolm who is just thrilled and nervous about the whole baby thing since he never had kids of his own and his sisters kids have always lived in Hawaii. We have loved each other through bad news, terrible news and wonderful news! We have so much in common, we have great fun together and in all the time we have known each other, we have yet to have an argument. We both talk things out and don’t dwell on little things. We both know that life is too short.
There are not enough words in the English language to tell you what we have together, and it is something I never knew existed. The love I have for this special man was in me all along but I had to go through eHarmony to find it. I am so glad I listened to well meaning friends. It changed my life forever. Thank you so very much.